All the shoulds. And learning to ignore them.

Today the 'shoulds' are being successfully ignored.

Craig has taken all the kids out for a little while this afternoon to scooter along the bike track near the beach. With the attitude a couple of the kids were displaying before he left, I thought he may just change his mind, but being Craig (the most patient man alive) he just shook his head and let me do the 'there is going to be one parent and 5 kids' speech, that I am such an expert at, followed up by encouraging motivation to do the right thing (don't listen= your day is officially over when you return= bed.) With them gone, standing in perfect silence, the 'shoulds' started to creep in.

Right now I should be doing so many other things. To start with I should be cleaning about a billion things. I should be sorting through the kids clothes and making a 'to buy' list. I should be starting to cook dinner. I should be trying to fix a couple of technical bits for my blog; but writing this is so much more fun. Funnily enough, tomorrow probably won't look that much different for me having sat here for a little while. So why do I always let the shoulds rule and bug me? The shoulds don't actually exist outside my head after all. Yet I always seem to give them so much power.

Have you ever noticed that kids don't use the word 'should' when referring to themselves? They use it about others. They definitely use it about parents. But rarely do I hear them using it about themselves. I, on the other hand, use the word 'should' all the time. Too much. Kids don't use it because they feel that it doesn't really apply to them. Whatever they are doing is completely fine with them. It's all about the moment. Now. Whatever is happening outside of that is completely irrelevant.

Imagine if all the shoulds disappeared and all that was left was the right nows. The house would be in complete chaos all the time instead of just half of the time, but I'd be so much more relaxed. For about a week perhaps, then I'd probably lose it.

I know at some point the shoulds all have to be dealt with. I know that. I know that I have to deal with the kids clothes situation, so that they actually have clothes that fit them in their wardrobes; although I am enjoying the comical morning 'so that doesn't fit you either' moments. But I figure, I will get that determined burst of enthusiasm at some point anyway, it is me after all. Restlessness will sink in soon enough. Craig hates school holidays because it usually means moving furniture, and I have my eye on the rug in the study. IKEA is not so far away and I do need a few more curtain clippy things for the curtains in the laundry;)

Right now however, I really just need a break. I need a break from the responsible-always-doing-the-shoulds-first mum I am, to regroup and face it all, all over again as I always do. I need a break.

So, to all those visiting over the next few days, or to those who have visited this holidays, sorry. The shoulds of vacuuming, brushing kids hair, cleaning EVERYTHING before visitors come, are officially on holidays too. Unless of course I get that determined I-need-to-do-this-now-at-11:15pm thing that I often get. Then I may well have cleaned, because I felt like it. Not because I felt I should.

To everyone else, who is - just like me - a little over all the shoulds, join me in taking a little break from them. Even if it's just long enough to have a cuppa. I will now move onto sewing some more of Daisy's gorgeous quilt; ignoring the crumbs beneath my feet.

Me:1, Shoulds:0