To all the other mums. Because sometimes cheering is needed.

Hi, I am a mum.

I have three girls and two boys.

I live in a lovely suburb. People wanting to buy houses here have momentarily lost their minds and are spending ridiculous sums of money to buy them. I hate to say it, but it makes me a little happy about our choice. And no, we are not moving.

I currently have 15 unread books on my Kindle for iPad. I am desperate to read them, but so many other things come first.

I love sitting down with a cup of tea, chatting with a friend, reading a book, writing, sewing, or creating anything really!

I am organised and creative which causes issues for me at times. The creative wants to leave all the mess for later, while the organised part of me is screaming to leave whatever I am doing and tidy up. The longer I have 5 kids, the more likely I am to let my creative side win, even though I perhaps should become more organised.



I am not an introvert or extrovert. I find myself looking at lists describing or categorising people and never fit into any of the descriptors on the whole. I love being with people and going out! I love listening to others. But I don't mind a bit of quiet time to myself either.

I love visiting places where I can be with my children as they explore and experiment and are free! Seeing their eyes wide open and questioning as they believe they are on an adventure really is amazing for me to be a part of. It's learning at it's most intense. I feel blessed to experience it.

I love teaching my children things. Anything really! I love it when they explore their interests and become passionate about things, even when it means I am lectured about my electricity usage.

I don't have a 'way' of doing the baby thing. My babies were different and I found I ended up doing things differently for each of them. Actually this is probably true of many things with my children. Their different is okay with me. When I hear other mums talk of must and should with babies, I find myself lost and questioning at times. Did I just never get it right? Was it me who caused problems? But then I look at my children and accept that I was their mum on purpose for better or worse, and we have moved on.

I always have good intentions, but many times they get lost in the rubble of in-between and bad days, where peace gives way to yelling and demands. And I look back wishing I could make changes, but instead opt for forgiveness and a fresh start. I love grace. And a new day with no mistakes in it yet.

I can be a fun mum. Dirt, paint, nature collecting, and tree climbing don't bother me. But I feel like I am always asking someone to clean up for the billionth time, without a response. And that really bugs me. Having my children help out without reminders seems like a dream.

I have kids who make an obscene amount of mess and don't seem to notice it. It is like I have surprised them with a completely new piece of information when I bring it to their attention. They are all about fun. And cleaning is like a foreign language.

I love the beach. It's where I can truly relax and just be. Ocean at my toes, feet in the sand: bliss.

I am a mum who may be very different from you. Or perhaps you can see similarities. Whatever you have found yourself nodding along with, or raising your eyebrows to, we all know that no two mummies are exactly alike. No two children are alike either. And that can sometimes create tension. Sometimes it can be hard to see beyond our world and the babes in our care, to see that the way others choose to respond to their children is many times because their family is different, made up of different people.

I am a mum, who is different from you. But I am also the same too.

I see the look that means love in my children's eyes or actions, just as you do. It looks different for different children, but I know it and feel it too, as you do.

I sometimes feel like I fit in and other times feel like I don't. And sometimes there is just no explanation. It just is what it is.

I know when my children are about to lose it. And it is hard when there is nothing I can do but just watch and wait.

I very much want the best for my children, and sometimes struggle to know exactly what that is. And that is hard because I so often feel like I should know the answers and I don't.

I want to give my children the world, and all the love in it. Love and great things forever and ever!

I want to stop them feeling pain or hurt or fear or any of the horrible stuff. But I know that it is in the hard stuff when I see them rise. I see their true character come through and form. I see that sadness gives way to hope. And I can't believe I get to be part of that process, even if it feels like the hardest thing on earth at the time.

"Let me go through it instead," I have begged too many times, knowing that this just isn't how life works. Then turning and choosing to focus on being there to listen and hug through the hard times instead, encouraging them to find strength to get through tricky times themselves.

Sometimes, actually lots of times, I struggle to juggle everything in my life. What is most important? It's a question I ask myself often. Deciding what is best can be difficult to see.

I have a line in my life. A place where time broke open and changed me forever. That moment when I became a mum and all responsibility for another human being was placed on me. That place in my life may have been just a moment, but looking back, it is as wide as a canyon. An ocean. To a place before that I could never again return. That before-them-me that seems a vague selfish memory person, I sometimes wonder about.

And I know that in the thousands of possible days before me, the days to the end of my existence here, I will love my children with a love that can never completely find words to make itself known. It's that knowing, that absolute feeling that lives within me, bonded to me until my days are over, never to be erased by anything. Anything. It's a love that changed me and continues to challenge and change me each day, as I become more of what they need, while learning what it means to truly put someone else's needs before my own. I know that I would give my life if that is what it took for them to live, without question. That is scary and intense and liberating all at once.

Yes, like you, I am a mum: for better or worse, good days and bad, challenges behind and ahead, endless caring, endless decisions, endless and unstoppable love forever and ever. And all that we can do is the very best with what we know, and the resources we have, for those we treasure so dearly.

So to all the mums everywhere, know that although we are so very different, this love we have for our children bonds us now and always. And as I sit here, thinking of you all, doing the best you can, hoping and praying that you find what this 'best' is for your family, I do so without judgement, but instead with support and a whole lot of cheering you on. Because that is what we all need. We all know we are not perfect. We all know we can do better. And we are working on it.

All you are doing that is never seen or acknowledged is awesome. It is a lot. And it is hard. The struggles you face are tough, and you are making progress, even if feel like you are not, because you never stop trying. Never. One day you will get through it, because change is one of the only certainties with children. And your battles are no less than others, even if you look around and feel silly for being concerned because others are facing different battles. Parenting is challenging, even when you love it.

You are doing a better job than you think. And your children know how much you love them.

Support, encouragement and cheering: for you.

Always.

Love, Jen.x