Survival skills, parent-side.

Parenting is hard. Really HARD. Like how-can-anyone-do-this-and-survive-the-day hard. Oh the roller coaster of emotions!!!

I was going to write that today was a challenge. But then I tried to think back to a day when I didn't feel challenged by parenthood and I couldn't. I couldn't. Because the little tribe that I am half responsible for making, must have some kind of schedule to keep me on my toes. I'd really like a copy of that schedule.

As parents we talk about balance. We read a zillion articles, blogs and watch clips, all claiming to make parenthood better. Easier. And have a balanced life, meaning time with kids, partner, hobbies, me-time, whilst do a super-amazing job at work, AND getting enough sleep.

I've come to see balance a little differently.



With parenting I now see the term balance as a balance between good things and things I'd rather not deal with. It's the balance of telling Craig "yay, can you believe he/she finally.....I wish you were here to see it" to "*sigh* Um, so can you please take them for 5 minutes because I don't want to be cranky again today..." Parenting has become more about surviving the life-sucking drama and can-they-just-do-ONE-thing-I-ask, long enough to bask in the glorious look-at-how-gorgeous/kind/happy/helpful-they-are! and it is positively exhausting.

I am grateful. You know I am. I've written about it probably too many times. Sometimes though, I'm really just out to get through the day with a little sanity.

So here are some of the critical survival skills I have learnt as a parent, while waiting for those sun-through-the-clouds moments, where everyone is happy and lovely:

1) Selective sight. Yes you have asked them 6 thousand times to put the hundreds of pieces of Lego back in the box, and you SHOULD remind them yet again, BUT for the next 10 minutes while they are hiding from finishing the job playing quietly somewhere, you could instead have a cuppa, catch up on Facebook and not completely lose it. The likelihood that they will respond to the next reminder may be slim anyway.

2) Selective ignoring. That muttering under their breath as they walk away to do the job that they have made perfectly clear is COMPLETELY beneath them and SO not their responsibility. Yep, that. Ignore it. If they are walking away muttering you won, because they are not arguing. Cheer, because the job is as good as done.

3) Social media use. Those 5-10 minutes after you have your shoes on, which is actually 15, then 10, then 5 minutes after all your warnings that you would be leaving, so it's best to go to the bathroom, get shoes and anything else needed ready. And then no one is ready and you are waiting and turn into a yelling parent who is ferociously angry. Trust me: go sit in the car and have a look at Pinterest or Instagram. It's not like the yelling will have any bearing on the level of lateness achieved anyway.

4) Caffeine. Do I really need to explain this? Sleep and parenting have never really gelled for me. First it was crying, now it's trying to get everything done. Either way caffeine has been a constant friend.

5) Clean in bursts and throw everything out when the kids are not home. Oh how they love and want to keep every creation ever made! No one can live with that much glitter/stickers/cardboard rolls/paper. No one. Take a photo and throw it out when they are not there to complain. And seriously mop the floor at night, because then you get to smile at it actually staying clean for a few hours.

6) Recognise the need for a re-set button. Sometimes we have all had ENOUGH. We get tired of being the responsible grown up who has to guide the little people into being awesome big people. TIRED. When that happens do something with the kids. Not just to watch them, but really join in! I highly recommend Slip and Slides (as long as you are okay with feeling like you have been hit by a truck the next day), sprinklers, chasing games, dancing crazy, and laying in front of the TV eating non-dinner food for dinner. You can make them do all the responsible stuff tomorrow.

7) Think 'pjs and shampoo'. When you are really cranky, I mean REALLY cranky and they have pushed one too many of your buttons, think 'pjs and shampoo'. It reminds me of the snuggly bedtime cuteness that is so adorable, especially the scent of their freshly washed hair. It somehow keeps me rational in situations that I perhaps find it difficult to remain so. Things like playing real hairdressers, or black texta ANYWHERE.

I could go on, but I'd love to hear from you. What are your parenting survival skills?

Jen.x