It wasn't a bad day or anything. We went swimming as the weather was near perfect. Craig and I had brunch at 2pm while the kids thankfully sat down to watch a movie after lunch and 'learning time.'
But after Daisy making it until 11:52m last night, she was tired. She cried about everything. No one was allowed to look at her but me, and she even hit Isabel at one point. I mean ISABEL. One of the most kind, gentle human beings on the planet. Isabel dared to ask her a question. About 5 minutes after getting up this morning I was very much appreciating her usual even temper!
The other kids were just annoying one another. Sibling issues have been tough over the last couple of weeks, which I am not used to dealing with. To say I'm over it would be understatement. As too goes for the not-quite-doing-exactly-what-they-are-told thing that seems to be going on with certain children, or the 'debating' that other children feel is necessary every time I open my mouth. Every time. Not to mention the extreme dobbing (that has become a contest that I have not been clued in on I am sure.) And if I have to ask someone to put another electronic device away, only to be met with the phase "in a minute" 16 times, I will throw it.
I am actually missing their 'creative' endeavours that I generally only found out about after the fact. At least with these activities they were entertained, quiet and kind to each other!
After swimming and dealing with brain-melting child issues, my motivation had completely disappeared. Kindle called my name, and for once I obeyed, leaving endless jobs incomplete. Later I even managed to burn dinner. Spaghetti Bolognese for goodness sake. All mums can make this with their eyes closed!
Part of me just stood in the kitchen simply hoping the kids could just be good. Just for a day. So I could do the stuff that needs to be done, rather than continually giving what feels like the all-of-me to them. Just. One. Day. As someone who never has kid-free-days unless I am at work (working with children) I can imagine that time with perfectly behaved children could be almost equal to time without them to cross things off the 'to-do' list. Frustration over swallowed up time felt momentarily overwhelming.
But do you know what I remembered?
It's something that I have told other parents time and time again. When others come to me saying their baby won't adhere to a routine. When I'm asked why their child only sleeps with a certain teddy and they will never give it up and the MELTDOWNS at washing time. And the parents who have children who refuse to eat certain foods, or who will not wear the colour red, or who hate movies, or who hate certain kinds of socks or must only wear dresses.
It's the thing that is central to everything parenting:
Kids are people too.
They are just people. Just like parents.
Kids have preferences too. They like what they like to eat, and it can take time to convince them to try new things (which I totally get because this is me!) They have a way they like to sleep, an amount of sleep they need, and a way they like to settle. They have strong preferences, including clothes, again just like grown ups (there are things I am certainly not wearing no matter how fashionable!) Things can irritate kids just as much as adults. Just like grown ups kids are all different, and their problems are all different.
And kids can get overwhelmed and cranky too.
Just like their parents.
The siblings that they are stuck with, for better or worse, can sometime annoy them, just as much as their behaviour annoys their parents. Too much food, not enough rhythm to their days, less sleep, too much excitement, mess and household chaos, grumpy parents who just want sleep and rest, and not seeing their friends or using their brains in the way they are used to, can all add up to children as grumpy and over-it as their parents.
My kids need a not-perfect moment.
And so do I.
Wanting something completely unrealistic is not helping anyone.
So instead of getting frustrated because I'd rather be cleaning the down stairs storage room, it's time for me to embrace this season and breathe. And wait. The days of the "be kind" and "give a good and fair report of others" lectures on replay, as I confiscate every misused item with a even temper, whilst listening patiently to all rebuttal (following with the-way-it-just-is) is here to stay for a little while. Eventually the grumpiness and tiredness we are all taking out on each other will fade and the necessary will get done.
Kids are people too. And we are all different.
I am sure in the years to come, my memories of a messy storage room will eventually fade. But the patience and devotion I accept is necessary for now, is something that will last a lifetime.
And on the bright side, Craig and I are about to have Thai and a bottle of wine while watching 'Back to the future.' I'm so looking forward to the invention of hover boards this year;)
Jen.x
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