Learning to write. Helping children to write at home.

As with anything to do with children and learning, fun makes it easier. Ask a child to read a book they are interested in, opposed to a book they have to read, and you will hear and see the difference. With children struggling, this can be even more pronounced. Who wants to feel like everything is too hard, AND dislike the task at hand? Nope, certainly not me. And children are no different.

There are hundreds of fun activities online about learning sounds, and even writing words, today I'm focusing on activities to do at home in regard to beginning to write whole sentences and encourage writing overall. Below are some simple activities to do with kindergarten children, and beyond. Last I have included a list of things parents can do to encourage writing in general.

Activity 1

A first activity, which many schools require as homework, is using 'sight words' cards to make sentences, then writing these sentences down. This is a great first step. Kids are usually happy to do this, especially if the words are laminated (can't help myself!) and the words are special and no one else is allowed to touch them. Not even once. And they are kept in some super awesome location/box/whatever. Treat these words like they are as precious as gold, super-seriously (after all, they are FROM THE TEACHER!!!!) and the family will follow. It doesn't hurt if someone gets into 'trouble' for touching them. Example:

"Oh Daisy, you can't touch those! They are Henry's really important words for school. I know you would LOVE to have a turn, but you just can't. You have to be REALLY grown up to have special words like these. We will just have to go and play with something else instead, while Henry does very grown up school things with them."

Works a treat. Added benefit being that when Daisy has her first set of words laminated, she will sooooo much enjoy getting to show her SPECIAL words off to her siblings telling them that they are certainly not allowed to touch them. The older kids have always been on board with this. Isabel:

"Henry, they are great words. No, you're right I'm not allowed to have them anymore, because I'm in year 4 now. Only people in Kinder and Year 1 get to have them." Cue sad, disappointed face.

Encourage silly sentences if that helps. Many kinder children love silly! Other children will be happy with themselves just making a sentence on their own. Writing and being understood can be very exciting for children.

Activity 2

This is where Henry is at right now. He is a getting a bit bored with the above activity. This is the tricky bit of learning to write: learning to write what is in their head at a slower pace than they would like. It can be very frustrating for them, especially if the child likes to do things 'right' and is not a big fan of taking a risk. Being faced with a blank page can really be too much. Where do they start?

For all my children after Jack (sorry Jack, you could already write in Kinder and I was pregnant with Henry) I have used a simple, readily available item to help me.

A scrap book. It is easily picked up when I'm at the grocery store. The thicker the pages the better.

To make it super special, I covered it with different things depending on the child. For Isabel it was with a painting she did, Lucy paint stamps and Henry 'Planes' wrapping paper.

The next part is the key to success. Grab a black felt tip pen and a standard plastic ruler. Starting from the bottom, trace along either side of the ruler until you have the preferred number of lines. Depending on the child, start with one, two or three. Less is better than more at the start. Success breeds success. A big space for a drawing and only a few large spaced lines (that can be altered for the child's needs) is great.

Introduce the special book without fanfare at homework time, explaining simply that the child is finally grown up enough to have a special writing book, where they can write stories of their own.

The big thing is to draw first. Not last. Many kinder children like drawing, so there is automatic success AND they have something to write about on the page in front of them. It is also easier to write on a page that isn't completely blank. For little ones, like Henry, who prefer to follow directives, I will give him something to draw, for example a cat. If he says he can't draw that (because oh no, it might not be perfect) I will draw a simple one beside him, one step at a time. Kids love drawing something 'properly.' The child could also follow a simple 'how to draw' book.

Ask the child to tell you something about their drawing, and then ask them to write it down. Have sight words spread out in front of them, so they can be used to create a simple sentence about their picture, perhaps using only a few unknown words. They may need a page with all the letters of the alphabet on it to refer to when thinking about what sounds are found in the unknown word. Henry doesn't really need either now, but I know some children do require these visuals. Remember it is supposed to be fun and about writing something, no matter what they need to do it.

At first the child may only write down one or two sounds from the unknown word, which is fine! As they become more confident with writing at school, their knowledge will come through their writing at home. This is merely good practice and a chance to learn to enjoy writing, outside of school. Writing needs to be seen as something that is needed beyond the walls of the school room.

Activity 3

Once a child becomes more confident with writing, move the lines in the scrap book closer together and encourage writing of all kinds. Journaling is great. Reading back over their writing later together can really add to the importance of writing. Creative writing about their dreams and hopes can also be great. As can recording data from experiments or rules for games in the back yard. Really, anything that they WANT to write about should be encouraged. It can often help them to process their own thoughts, and can give you insight.

If a child likes to use computers, open up a word processing program and let them go for it. They can learn to add photos and other pictures to their work. Children who love art may find writing then creating an art project to accompany their writing fun. Often parents need to stand out of the way and saying 'yes' to messy exciting things the child wants to do.

When to do writing tasks

Provide a time for writing that is a nothing time. A time when nothing fun is going on, play has been had, and everyone else is doing seemingly boring tasks. It's also great if it's a time when parents are busy (so can't hover), but not too busy to wander over calmly if the kindergarten child is getting frustrated. Dinner cooking time, or cleaning up after dinner time, works well.

All children are different, so if the time isn't working, pick another one. Don't stop play and demand writing. It just won't work. For us, writing time is during homework time. One benefit of many kids is you just need one to start. I can announce it's time to do anything, and generally if one believes, the others follow.

Other things parents can do to encourage writing

*Ask the child to add items to a shopping list. Ask like it's no big deal.

*Allow the child to see the grown ups write with purpose. They need to feel the NEED to write. Why bother learning something that serves no purpose and is only for school. It's tempting to do all the work for work, making schedules, writing lists, etc once children are in bed. Try to do some in front the child.

*Let the child see writing can be fun. Write a story together. Parent write a few lines, the child writes a few lines. Or at the very beginning, child talks and parent writes. They will start to understand the importance of words and some children will pick up spelling, grammar etc from simple activities like this. Again, writing doesn't have to be serious: have fun with it and make it silly.

*Ask the child questions about their writing. Be interested. Genuinely. Without all the over the top praise if the writing isn't worthy. Compliment effort, not the finished product.

*Ask the child to read their writing to you, and even better to siblings. Quite often the child will want to make changes or add words. This is completely normal.

*Read. A lot. It will give them ideas to write about and provide opportunities to talk about writers. Discuss how people come up with ideas, what is important to think about when writing, how funny it would be if there were no full stops etc.

*Make a writing box and provide endless amounts of paper, lined and unlined.

*With an older child, a communication book between parents and child can be great. It serves many more purposes than learning to write too.

Just as parents encourage and value the development of verbal language in the early years, writing is yet another form of communication for us to encourage and get excited about. Enjoy the journey and take photos. Before you know it they will be a proficient writer and you will hardly remember all the steps along the way.

Jen.x

Costco. Is it REALLY worth it? What I buy.

Costco. I was introduced to the phenomenon by my overly enthusiastic sister. Ever noticed how people who go to Costco are extremely enthusiastic about it, to the point of being tempted to say "calm down now," because really how great can it be? I mean really, it's a store. A shop. For groceries.

Then I went.

Okay, so now I get it.

Costco provides some of our healthy snack options and meal/snack ingredients, made in countries that have food regulations, at a great saving of both time and money. For me it's not only all about the savings. But mind you there are great savings to be had.

Overall we spend a lot on food. For example at the moment we spend more than $10 a day on fruit and $7 every two days on yogurt, and these are minor items. I know much has been said on the topic of expense involved in providing healthy food. I personally find it very expensive. It would be cheaper to provide mass produced bags of chips or a packet of biscuits, compared with the price of fruit. There are lots of ways to make healthy options cheaper, but so far all the ones I've found require time. Time I simply don't have during the school term. I'm constantly battling time vs money to come up with reasonably priced healthy options. Pinterest is certainly my friendly helper in this regard, but so is Costco. Making some of our ingredients cheaper, really does help on the whole.

The prices are great. Mostly. There are some amazing specials, BUT some things are almost the same price as they would be at the local grocery store when on special, so would not really be worth the trip if only in search of savings. You could do your research before going, but for me, I buy and then my lovely sister compares later. It has never cost me more for any item (adjusted for quantity,) but some items have worked out to be the same price, especially if the item was on a great special at the local store. Make sure you are considering quantities when looking at prices. For example, it may seem a lot to pay $9.89 for Craisins. BUT when you consider that the bag is 1.36kg, and Craisins cost $4.46 for 170g at Coles, the savings are pretty clear.

Just make sure when purchasing that you only buy what you will actually use before the used by date. This isn't something I really have to worry about, but with fewer family members I would be taking this into consideration.

How much do I save?

When I go to Costco I do a massive shop. Almost every time I go (once a term during the holidays) I spend $1000, and generally save $500 off regular prices. And that is just off the items that there is an easy to find comparison item. Many items, such as organic cotton pj's, are from brands not sold in Australia (rather USA). This total saving doesn't take into account this type of saving, which can be substantial. It also doesn't include savings made on items I hadn't bothered to find alternate prices on, such as swimming goggles or underwear or a large packet of Sharpies.

My other big reasons to shop at Costco

One benefit of doing the massive shop (with great trolleys that can handle it!) is that we have all the items purchased that we will need throughout the term. Less trips to the shops during the week, and if we do go, we are only buying perishables such as milk, dairy items, meat, bread, fruit and veg. I can grab some of these things at the local corner store, green grocers, or butchers, supporting small local businesses. If doing a regular shop, I just don't do this. It is also a great deal more manageable and time efficient. No looking through or walking down isles every few days. I didn't realise what a blessing this was until part way through the previous term. I didn't do a Costco shop before there start of Term One and it really affected the running of our household. I'll never forget the look on Jack's face, coming upstairs from our storage room, exclaiming that we had no toilet paper on the Costco shelf. He was in shock. As was I. It would take several annoying trips with a regular trolley to fill my Costco shelf ready for the term, eating away at my holiday time with the kids.

I am 5 foot 1. It's not something that really bothers me as I've always liked being short. But handling a very over-full trolley and reaching for items on high shelves can be tricky. I can fill a trolley with items we need on any given day of the week. I buy 6 or 7 kilograms of bananas or apples at a time, along with three 3L containers of milk, and all the other fresh produce needed, multiple times a week. There are always looks of shock from all surrounding me when I make my way through the checkout. Always. And people can't help but ask, so grocery shopping is a very social experience. Having a Costco stock shelf to pull from on a needs basis is great because my trolley stays at least slightly manageable for me to manoeuvre around the shops and car park. And I can still see over the top. Costco trolleys are much more manageable, although larger, and somehow much easier to use.

So why else do I buy at Costco when there are other 'cheap' stores closer?

* Many of the products are from reputable brands, produced in countries that have food regulations. The products are what I would choose to buy, given all the choices.

* I have tried the local 'cheap' grocery store and don't like the products. The difference I found was that at the cheap store the products were a reduced quality, and had many additives that I try to avoid, in the items I choose to purchase.

* The reason Costco is cheap, isn't because of cheap products, but rather a guaranteed lower mark up. No item has a mark up greater than 14%.

* I really like many of the products Costco stocks, that are unavailable elsewhere. Peanut butter, dried onion flakes, Californian granulated garlic, and oh my, the pretzels! I could go on....

* They treat their staff well and offer advancement programs. I worked in retail from the time I was 15, until I worked as a teacher. Actually, I even worked in retail during the Christmas holidays to help out the jeweller I once worked for, until I had 3 children. I had great bosses, but know of many others who didn't, including my husband. It makes a difference. And I will support companies that encourage their workers and treat them well. I also give written positive feed back on helpful staff, but that is a story for another time.

* I can do many types of shopping at once, in a short space of time. I buy goggles for the kids (three children have weekly swimming lessons year round), organic cotton pjs for my children with sensitive skin, and even a new fry pan not so long ago. The deep walled fry pan is the best by the way and big enough to double batches for my big family!

* I have found many more additive free items. This makes a difference to my sanity. Additives really affect a couple of my children. I try to buy products that contain as few ingredients as possible, and have ingredients that I can read and know what they are. The closer to whole food the better, while accepting sometimes I have to have convenience foods.

* Buying at Costco has been part of my journey to simplify.

* Time. I save time in so many ways with this big shop. I don't need to look through weekly specials in catalogues, and I stock up all at once. When I go shopping through the week for perishables I just quickly pick up and buy. Much faster. Making the space for our Costco shelf has been life changing.

What do I buy regularly? 

Some of these I have only bought once because the original is still in use:

Sandwich/snack bags
Yogurt (Jaalna 2kg)
Rice
Smooze ice-blocks
Dried onion flakes (Kirkland brand, no preservatives)
Californian granulated garlic (Kirkland brand, no preservatives)
Fine sea salt (Kirkland)
Pretzels (the massive barrel, now I can't eat any other kind!)
Carmen's bars (box with 48 half size, nut free, two types of muesli bars)
Annie's fruit straps
Garbage bags (don't get Jack started about this one. Quality difference.)
Peanut butter (Skippy)
Tissues (Kleenex, 8 large boxes)
Paper towels (Bamboo Viva)
Craisins and other dried fruit (biggest range preservative free, even dried blueberries)
Nuts: almonds, cashews and pistachios (Kirkland brand- awesome prices and sizes!!!!)
Dishwasher tablets
Speedo swimming goggles for the kids (a three pack)
Calvin Klein underwear (sorry if too much information!)
Crackers (Mary's gone crackers brand made completely from seeds are awesome)
Chia seeds
Levis jeans
Quinoa (but I check the price- sometimes this isn't cheap)
Semi sweet choc chips (only two ingredients and I couldn't find 'semi' sweet anywhere else. They are also sustainably sourced, fair trade.)
Sharpies (I have only bought this once, but awesome)
Kids band-aids (Band Aid brand character ones)
Hand wash refills
Queen organic vanilla bean paste (nothing is better than this for cooking!)
Organic coconut oil
Children's books (sometimes a great special, but check the prices)
Frozen veggies
Coconut flour
Whole grain wraps
Socks
Tasty cheese slices (we all love these)
Tins of sliced pineapple (perfect size to add to afternoon tea for my children, when I haven't had time to buy fruit)
Christmas gifts for children (for example for Henry, a 'Planes' pack that had the big plane and 5 die cast figures, unavailable elsewhere, so very cheap)
Weet bix (only a $1.30 saving per box, but we go through boxes so fast it is great to have many in reserve)
Swiss Miss hot chocolate (I know it is terrible for me, but so yummy as an occasional treat!)

Some of these items are ridiculously cheap when considering the cost per item at a regular grocery store.

Items I would like to try or would buy in the future

Organic coconut sugar
Hershey's cocoa
Pure maple syrup (I don't need any right now, but the price is amazing so will buy at Costco in the future.)
If I ever need to replace my kettle I will buy it at Costco. My exact kettle is $30 cheaper there.

So yes, I think that a trip to Costco, which is an hour away from where I live, is completely worth it. And I'll be there with my sister tomorrow. Which is my final reason for going there. My sister and I have such a great time. I laugh so much with her, looking at some of the ridiculous products and sizes available. Always bring a friend along.

Want to see what it is like? My Costco photo gallery is here.

Jen.x

Costco trip photo gallery.

Photos from my last Costco trip.

Some of the items I bought were one-offs for Christmas, like the books, toys and muesli bars (for Santa sacks). The items bought were shopping for both my sister's family and mine. Photos are not all of items I would recommend, but show how varied the range of items available is. For more information about why I shop at Costco, what I buy there, and if it is really worth it, read about it here.

If there is something you are interested in seeing, comment. I will be there tomorrow.

Jen.x

Simplifying. Minimising. And not forgetting the most important thing.

Since Daisy was about 6 months old I have been on a mission to simplify. To minimise. To have what we need, rather than all the wants that have a tendency to cause clutter.

It probably began even earlier in a more slow and steady way, when we moved into this house four years ago. But adding a fifth child really encouraged me to look for more and more ways to simplify and streamline.

It has certainly been an interesting journey.

There has been so much given away, thrown out, or re-purposed into something functional for our family. Hard work doesn't even begin to touch the strength of words needed to describe the journey. I have been relentless. I have often missed sleep. Okay, in all honesty, I rarely get the amount of sleep I need and Craig thinks I lack the ability to relax. This need for constant activity has certainly fuelled my search for a way to do the everyday better, in the hope of having more time to just be with my lovely family. Minus the stress.

In many ways I have achieved what I set out to for my family. Organising and simplifying certain areas has made for a more smooth running household. The study overhaul has been fantastic. It is so very used in a house hold of such creatives and many of us involved in schooling. The laundry renovation has quite literally changed the way I think about washing. I would often dread it and hated being in the room, and now it is almost never messy and I can't help but smile every time I reach to open my bright red cupboard, that only holds exactly the things we use (and no more.) The mud room makes all the school stuff manageable, and with four at school, findable. The bedrooms, playrooms and living areas are now easier to clean up, and I even know exactly where everything is in our storage room. There is still much to be done, but I do look back gratefully, happy that simplifying is a journey we have been on.

But a little while ago I realised that in all the minimising and simplifying there was something that was somewhat lost and forgotten in our home.

Us.

In trying to create space, free up counters, see skirting boards and generally stop being a slave to all the stuff, I realised that I lost a little bit of what actually made our home feel like us. I lost a little of what made it feel like home to me.

Now, I know that it's the people that make the home, not the things. And that is very true. But there is also that moment when I walk into some houses that instantly gives me that it's-so-them-! feeling, and I really love it. It has nothing to do with cleanliness or organisation or the colour palette they have chosen.

They feel comfortable in the space.

And it fits their life perfectly.

That's just it, isn't it? A home should be there to serve the needs of the family and people in it, not the other way around. That's what I've discovered I have really been searching for in my journey towards simplicity: a home that is exactly what we need for us to be a family, without the excess that creates wasted time.

I realise now that this journey is not only about removing and making 'less.' Part of the journey is about making sure that our home fits our lifestyle and the things we love to do and the comfort that makes home feel like home. And what's more I need to recognise that I have this wonderful place and be grateful for it.

When considering my real family, not the imaginary one it would be more convenient to have, trying to pare back all-the-things, leaving no room for forgetting, tired, late, messy hobbies, fun and crazy, really isn't the right thing for me to do. We need room for error. We need to have reserves. We need 6 laundry baskets and a Costco shelf that is full at the start of a term, because our life just doesn't run smoothly without them. And I need a sewing table sitting right in the middle of our main living area. Because I just do. It makes for not only beautiful handmade items, but is also for sharing a passion with my little ones, while enabling me to stay right there with them as they play.

And that it the way we really live.

Messily together, loud-too-often, huge completely scratched dining table covered in pencils, dishes piled in the sink, haphazard tents constructed in the bedrooms, books scattered over the coffee table, random toys in the hall, a sometimes huge clean washing pile, and a notice board covered with 'important' things.

That is how my beautiful family really lives. And as I look at the joy and contentedness in their faces, I realise that although I still have a little way to go on the journey of simplifying, they are completely happy right where we are now.

Clearing the clutter and remembering to love people and use things (not the other way around), will continue to be an important focus. We just won't lose focus of who we actually are, and what our life is really like in the process.

I may not perfectly implement the task of minimising, and my children may not grow to completely value simplicity.

But they will clearly remember that people come first. And that things are simply tools for living a happy, fun, meaningful, sometimes slightly wild-and-crazy, life.

Time to look at the gorgeous, real, seriously messy-and-all-about-the-fun family I have. Time to smile and think about real solutions that are all about life as it really is.

And above all, time for me to be grateful for the amazing life I lead, and house I am beyond blessed to call that very special word: home.

Jen.x

How I learnt to be a better parent in one moment. Looking back at this to help now.

Sometimes I need to look back to move forward.

Who remembers when I wrote about how I learnt to be a better parent in one moment?

Well, it's been a while since I've written in that particular book. I reorganised a few things and made the mistake of placing something on top of it. So it stayed closed.

Today I decided to take it back out again.

After writing down what I think a happy home looks like yesterday, it was time to do something really easy: ask myself the question-

Do we have what we have decided is our version of a happy home?

And furthermore, what areas are we missing the mark, or aiming for something that hasn't even been listed as important?

These are tricky questions. For some things listed, the answers are pretty obvious. One perfect example, was one of Craig's responses: "a clean and tidy home."

Oh.

Deep down I know this about him. It's no surprise that a guy who has been in the Air Force values organisation and cleanliness. But in the day to day it's easy to push it aside, because I can live with things a little more lived in. It was an easy fix really, asking the kids to help out with cleaning today. I didn't get anything super fun done with the kids or and sewing done this morning, but the house does look lovely and Craig was smiling when he returned home. It's also surprising the fun the kids had in between 'helping' moments. Jack and Daisy were particularly sweet. So yes, some responses were easy to assess and think of changes that needed to be made.

Other things on my page, about my home in particular, were things that I didn't realise were important to me, but plans can be made in the future, and just knowing that, is enough for now.

There were however a few left over items written down that I was a little stuck on, or perhaps a better way of putting it is that I didn't really trust my own judgement to assess them properly. I wanted something more concrete. And that's when I remembered the book.

Re-reading that post again made me teary. Mainly because lately I haven't been the mum I was when I wrote it. I have been expecting too much and paying little attention to what they are contributing and trying hard with, but rather finding fault. Too many sighs of impatience, too many hurry-up-s.

I needed to go back to remembering that big truth:

They hear what I think.

Ouch.

Sometimes the truth is necessary. And it hurts. My viewpoint was a problem again, and I certainly knew it.

So the book is back out, and I am writing. Not only that, I am taking photos when I notice them being particularly kind, thoughtful, helping etc. All the things I wrote I wanted for my children and family. In a few days I will go back and have another look at everything I've written about what believe a picture of a happy home is, and compare.

If I have learnt nothing more from this process so far, it's that honesty is important. As I read the pages of my bright, sunny yellow book, filled with positive comments about my children, I realise how important it is to realise what is. What really is. Not just what I think it is, after briefly glossing over the events of the day. It is far too easy to feel my children are not helping, when I zone in on times in the day when they didn't do what they were asked. And when it's what I believe, it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy.

Time to focus on the truth. What really is. And make changes based on real needs. Not imagined ones.

As I wrote all those months ago:

There will continue to be moments that change me. I welcome the challenge, because I know from experience the rewards can be worth it.

They hear what I think.

Let what I think be the best of them.

Jen.x

A first step to a happier home. And by home I mean family. Do this one thing.

The thing is that it's easy to just go with the flow.

I actually did it all day today. The house is a mess and I'm pretending not to notice, because for one, cleaning with the kids on holidays is actually a complete waste of my time, and I wanted to work on a few sewing projects. The kids have had an absolute ball and as I type, playing tip at the other end of the house. Yes, getting dressed for bed and teeth brushing and all that should be happening, but this is easier. At least it seems that way right now. Right at this point in time there is no need to get to bed at a reasonable hour, because tomorrow hold no expectations.

So yes, it is really easy to go with the flow. It's easy to just accept the way things are and ignore difficulties and things I'm unhappy with. It's easy to do things the way I've always done them because, it doesn't involve any extra work on my part. And I have the added benefit of being able to just sit back and complain;) After all this is just the way things are.

Only I know that doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results, has been said to be one definition of insanity. I'm a big believer in this. I first heard it when Jack was a baby and it completely changed the way I saw parenting. It suddenly wasn't all about me and what I wanted him to do and be. I needed to respond and consider his desires too, and if something wasn't working for him or our family as a whole, it needed to change. We needed to read both information and our baby, and work out how to live happily as a new family. And we have done this with each new little one.

It takes work. Happiness, change and finding what works for a family doesn't come easily, and sitting back waiting for change to suddenly just occur, realistically isn't going to happen. It might. But the odds aren't all that great. In favour of positive change at least.

So the problem is that after finding that 'way' of doing things after having a new baby, and finding that balance within the family, it's tempting to just stay like that in an ongoing way. Sounds great, huh? No more work. No challenging current ways of thing.

But, families change. Babies grow. Children grow. And even parents find themselves moving into new things. Family, homes and rhythms need to change in response. And they do; just not always for the best. Right now our home is happy. Completely happy. Nothing from the outside needs us right now, with then exception of Craig's work, and it is wonderful. Only this isn't our regular life. Our regular life had become crazytown, and changes, perhaps only slight ones are needed to get through the school term with less crankiness all round.

A few years ago, I was reading a book that challenged me to do a task that really helped me, when figuring out what was and wasn't working for our family. It made me question what we were doing over and over again, that had no hope of achieving the kind of life we desired.

Now, four years on, it is time to do a similar thing again. What do we need to look at changing, to have our home and the family in it happier, and able to do all that each person needs and wants to in the world beyond?

To start, we need to do one thing.

Have us all decide what a happy home really looks like. To us.

What does a happy home look or even sound like? If I was to ask a number of people, I'm sure there would be a variety of responses. Some families like LOUD, some quiet. Some love to be in each others lives all the time, others like space to themselves. Some value simplicity and few outside activities, while others just adore being busy and out and about together. Each one of these families needs something different. They need a different home, different rhythms, some needing routines, while others don't.

Loud, quiet, strict routines, few routines, many activities, simple no fuss living etc, are not the problems. It's not the differences that make problems for families and there is nothing wrong with families having different needs.

The problems begin when the way a family lives, and place in which they live, does not match who they really are together.

Sometimes, only small changes need to be made, other times bigger ones. But it all needs to start with deciding - together -

What does a happy home really look like? To us.

So the very first step is to simply decide this as a family, which can be done in many ways. Some families have family meetings, where this big question could be discussed and notes taken (if there are lots of ideas!) Other families might prefer to write/draw/whatever by themselves and then come together and share. There are so many ways, but most important is that everyone is given a say. Parents with a baby in the home will need to consider what the baby's needs are.

For me, tonight I am going to sit down and have a chat with Craig and jot down some of our thoughts. Then tomorrow I am going to ask the kids to give their own response in what ever way they choose.

The first time I did this, it was just for myself. It took less than 10 minutes and a small blank page in my journal. The ideas were written randomly as they came to me, and are a little hard to follow now, but make me smile, because it so reflects who we were back then.

Don't know where to start?

Grab a piece of paper and just write:
* What do you hear, see, feel, think as you walk through the door of your ideal home?
* What is happening in your home when you feel that 'I-love-my-home-and-family' feeling?
* What circumstances see most people happy in your home?
* What is important for your family to experience, or be part of?
* What level of noise do you feel most at ease with?
* What things around your home make you feel calm and relaxed?
* Do you prefer more sedate or active pastimes?
* Does mess bother you and your family? Do they seem calmer and happier with order, or do they not care?
* Is home cooking important? Cooking together/alone?
* Do you need to feel inspired at home?
* Do you like to be challenged or just accepted within your home?
* Do you like to have time alone, or prefer to always be together, sharing everything?

And so much more! Once you start writing, ideas tend to flow from there. Just imagine your home on a movie screen, pictured and working just the way you like it and write from there.

The idea isn't to then change everything immediately to fall in line with what you have discovered. The next step is something much simpler.

Jen.x

Just notice. And do nothing of great consequence.

I like Jane Austin movies. But you know what gets to me every time? There is a great deal of not 'doing' anything. There seems to be a lot of sitting around looking pretty. And I always think to myself - 'that would absolutely drive me crazy!'

You see I'm addicted to activity.

Yes, I can't help myself. My husband doesn't believe I'm actually capable of truly relaxing. I will admit that it is a challenge. Even the career I chose is not one that is left at the office, and never really has an end. And then there are the 5 children.

Perfect example was watching a movie last night. I figure most people just watch the movie. This is what Craig tells me is normal. I sewed a button on a school shirt, mended a stuffed iguana, and did some embroidery that I've been meaning to get to. I may have also got up to check on a few things too. Maybe.

Being addicted to activity has it's good points. One is that I get a great deal done in any given day. I generally don't see things as impossible but rather am moving things around in my head to fit additional items in, silently negotiating what can be moved and how much sleep I can really get through to next day on (provided there is enough caffeine). I can do a lot and make use of time well. And my goodness, I can organise pretty much anything.

On the downside: I burn out. Often. I let myself get too tired and push myself past the point I should. When most people say 'no', I continue to say yes, ridiculously optimistic that I can be superwoman. I don't see the signs to slow down, because I don't think I need to. Working harder always feels like it's a choice, even when it is not in my best interest to do so. This leads to a short fuse, being emotional about what other people think (when given rest I could easily brush off such comments), and pushing people away. Worst of all my optimism fades and I'm left with focusing on all I'm doing wrong. My expectations tend to become overly unrealistic, and my family suffers.

So today I did something different. Usually, feeling quite happy, after yesterday's achievement, I would be especially eager to do and accomplish more. Probably something big. Like going through and sorting all the kids clothes. Today however, I resisted.

I chose to do nothing of great consequence. I pottered around doing a bit of this and that. I finished sewing pjs for Henry, but I could have done that in my sleep. Very easy pattern and I'd already done the mildly challenging parts. I did a load of washing, chatted with the kids, tidied and cleaned a bit, checked Instagram, did a little more sewing, and even read. When Craig arrived home I took the kids to the movies and he even cooked dinner!

It was really restful and a nice change.

The real benefit though was that I was given the gift of noticing.

One thing that happens when I'm in super-busy-mode is that I miss the small things. I gloss over the details and the minor comments, because I'm focused on more than one task at a time. At times I can't focus on listening to the end of the story someone is telling, because there is still so much to be done.

Today I was able to notice more.

I was able to just stay put as Henry ooo-ed and ahhh-ed over his new pjs. I watched his smile grow as he checked them over and talked about what kind of pjs I would make him when he turned 10. I didn't miss the long hug, because I wasn't in a rush. Ten. It will be here in no time.

As I read I could hear Jack playing chess with his friend, neither entirely clear on the rules, but muddling their way through, laughing and joking together. I was able to hear a friendship grow. And hear my eldest right in the middle of his growing up.

I stood and watched as Lucy quietly and kindly tried really hard to keep Daisy entertained playing with farm animals, so Daisy wouldn't get up and choose to play with someone else. I was able to feel the crazy you-can-do-nothing-wrong-ever love that Lucy has for Daisy, usually reserved for the quiet spaces of our home, when no one is really paying attention. He patient, loving words and gestures flowed easily, much practiced, and much overlooked; not requiring praise to exist, but rather existing just because.

I was able to see how much Isabel has begun to grow up. I noticed that for the very first time in her entire life, I asked her to clean up and she did. Without a word, no drama, no nagging and no expectation of praise or reward. And as Jack went riding with his friends, she stepped in and led. Patiently stepping up, listening to the younger children, trying hard to help them and invent games to everyone's liking. I noticed that she insisted on helping hang the washing out, and talked with me about the need for change next term. I was able to listen and not hurry her, as she explained that one of her dance classes would have to go, so she could find time for homework and flute practice. I had a front row seat for seeing a little girl, becoming something more. A girl in the middle and on her way to becoming a woman that one day will need to make big choices, just as I do.

Daisy cuddled me more than ever today as she must have sensed my greater availability. Oh how I am grateful for noticing how much her smile widens for me as my arms welcome her into my lap. That moment when she whispers 'mummy' in a completely contented fashion as I hold her close. To not drink that in is to miss out on the wonderfulness of those fleeting toddler years, when emotions are big, especially the fierce, unrelenting love for a mummy.

And to think so often I miss this. I miss it all, getting so much done. The getting it done is important. There is great value in the all that I regularly do. But just taking the time to notice today, really helps me to think about what needs to come next. What do I really value? What is my vision going forward? All questions that need answers, just not now. Not today. Perhaps tomorrow.

Today is just about doing nothing of great consequence and noticing. Just noticing.

What a gift.

If you are following along, take some time tomorrow to notice everything. Pay close attention and only do the essentials. I'd love to hear about what this reveals to you too.

Jen.x

Easter craft. Free-range style. Easy.

My children love creating. No secret really. They much prefer to be given ideas and then make their own decisions, creating their own way.

I think of it as free-range style craft.

Occasionally they will choose to watch instructions and copy ideas, but they always put their own spin on it. In a way this makes my job easy. All I need to do is provide the materials, and they will create for hours. Cleaning up can take a little while, but cleaning one table is much quicker than cleaning the entire house, which they can destroy rearrange in a messy fashion, in a matter of minutes.

As everyone is concentrating on their individual projects, it's also a generally calm time, when I can chat to each of them without much interruption. Sometimes I will even get some sewing done! Especially now as my new sewing area is so close to our dining table. It's definitely function over form when it comes to decorating here;)

So when only two children needed to make Easter hats for school, and we had a couple of disappointed I'm-not-included looks, the answer was simple: Easter craft afternoon!

I used the same plates as for our Autumn craft extravaganza, and set up the dining table with Easter hat supplies at one end, and other craft supplies along the remainder of the table. I printed out a simple egg shape, resizing it using the scanner. The table looked like this.

I added all the glue: glue sticks, PVA and the hot glue gun (with cold water at the ready close by!) once I could stay at the table next to it.

They all had a great time creating. Jack was out riding and visiting friends, so he came home closer to the end of the time.

And the Easter hats?

Jack decided to make crosses for our Easter bunting. The kids decided part way through that the decorated eggs should be hung as bunting so we could see them all really well. Not just on the notice board in the study.

Our finished bunting:

And finally the Easter hat parade photos:

Have a wonderful Easter!

Jen.x