Saturday, 14 February 2015

Slow Saturday. And why I choose to tell all.

So yesterday I had to vent.

Well I didn't really have to I guess, but I wanted to be clear. Honest. Because I am often told by others (with big smiles) that they love to hear that I don't have it all together.

I would never want anyone to think that I'm sitting here sewing in a perfectly clean house, with children smiling and saying "absolutely mum, what else can I do for you?" with a meal cooking in the oven, and laundry all put neatly away. It's just not reality. Not my reality at least.

As a mum of fewer children I often felt terrible after visiting others' houses, because I thought I was failing alone. I thought I was the only one who found parenting challenging. More than challenging: impossible to the point of tears some days. I thought I just needed to try harder, change my attitude, be more positive, or perhaps I was just not cut out to be this mum everyone else seemed to have no problem being perfect at.

And then a few people let their walls down. I did too.

I realised that everyone is struggling with something. The whole parenting gig is hard for all, whether people choose to show it or not. I now know about the 'everything's fine' face that all too often hides things that are just to hard to say without falling apart.

I now know that parenting is meant to be a challenge, because it helps me grow. It is often the thing that shows me exactly who I am, and I don't always like what I see. But then growth doesn't happen in easy times, does it? I have had to face up to the fact that I'm not always right, can be way too selfish, and need to open up to the possibility that there could be more out there. I now know that a completely safe and unchanging life isn't necessarily always the best. I now I can be and should be honest and be exactly who I am instead of trying to fit a mould that is a normal that I have come to realise just doesn't really exist. None of this happened through success, rather tears and challenges that I remember telling God he was wrong to believe I was capable of dealing with. As it turns out he was right. I am stronger than I knew myself to be. Choosing honesty and talking to those close to me helped me through these times.

As I had more children I also noticed that some children are simply more challenging than others too, requiring more time and energy, while others were simply happy to be and play. This is something I have shared time and time again with other parents who are at their wits end. I can tell that they think it is their 'fault' and are at that point where their confidence in their parenting is at rock bottom. I am only to happy to assure them: kids are different too. But more importantly, the things that are challenging now are there for a purpose. I know now that children grow and change too. The things that in the past created massive difficulties slowly became strengths, that may one day lead them to who they are meant to be. Sharing this has helped more parents than I can count, often to the point of tears.

The risk is however, in sharing all that I can forget to mention the great times, and the successes along the way. I can forget to mention the day-after-the-hard-part-is-over. I can get caught up in the moment and the smiles and the joy in having the great that comes, as sure as low tide follows high.

So I'll share today, because it was just about perfect.

It's always better with Craig home, even if for a few hours. He will always put aside everything to spend time with the kids when they have missed him, which is wonderful. It reminds me of how blessed I truly am. Even though he had to leave at 2:30 this afternoon and he won't get to spend time with the kids until Monday afternoon, they were more settled and happy just to be with him.

And I was able to wear comfortable clothes, that I'd probably never wear outside the house, and sew while having conversations with each of the children, as they stopped by, between activities they found for themselves this afternoon.

As the rain started, and a few children trickled inside to play leaving others to make forts in the rain, they found one another and I realised all at once that although I thought a slow and more peaceful life was impossible, I had found a moment in time that was. My slow Saturday was just the gift I needed. It was my breathing space in which the outside world had no hold on. And it was lovely.

Maybe all the busyness is crazy. But if nothing else, it has helped me to truly appreciate the time I am given to be still and peaceful.

For that I am thankful.

Here are some photos of our day.

Jen.x
























Sunday, 8 February 2015

Update: the girls room. Bunk beds and space!!! Love it.

We put the bunk bed together a while ago. It was toward the end of the school holidays so Craig and I insisted it was a two person job. It may have been so we could hide away from the kids for a while. Maybe.

Today I finally put the room together properly, sparked by the girls sudden insistence that all the Lego brand Lego had to be rotated out of their room and into storage in favour of the Hello Kitty lego and some of the Sylvania Families toys. I don't usually make them clean up their rooms, but rather get them to do other jobs that they are much more efficient with completing while I clean their rooms. Today however, because I had a terrible head ache this morning, I asked and insisted they get rid of all the rubbish and finish sorting the unmade Lego into the coloured containers (that they just had to have.) Craig took the kids out together to visit 'pebble beach' for some collecting, as he will be on afternoon shift for the next week. I gave me plenty of time to clean, rotate toys and arrange.

This is the result!


The girls received these doll houses for Christmas.




Seeing the quilts I made them from their baby clothes always makes me smile.





The little red boxes contain their special wooden dolls (inspired by Waldorf ideas.) These are still loved and played with over a year after the boxes were given to them. The girls like to create new outfits for the little dolls.


Oh my, how I love seeing the girls in love with their sewing baskets! These were must-keep-out items according to the girls:) We are still working on the putting-away-of-dangerous-items.



I'm still in love with the lamp I made for them so many months ago. It was lots of fun to make too.


Nothing really changed in their wardrobe, apart from the fact that it looks messy at the moment (I refuse to put their clothes away) but at some point I will need to do something about it to fit Daisy's clothes in.


This is where Daisy's cot will eventually go. For the moment it will be home to the Sylvanian treehouse.



I'm so very happy with this room now. It works much better than the previous redo of their room. And the girls adore the new layout and 'new' toys. To be completely honest though, they get excited about anything and everything. A new ream of paper for example. So it wasn't really a challenge to get their approval. What do you think?

Jen.x


Saturday, 7 February 2015

Saturday. A photo story of family, celebrating, great food, and a spontaneous beach adventure.

Today was a great day. It was full of good things: family, celebrating, yummy food, and a beach adventure ending in soaking wet clothes, sand everywhere and happy relaxed smiles. So I thought I would share. I have a feeling Saturdays are going to be my favourite this year.

Here is our day:)




Off we go to the Christening of my nephew Leo. Note: we were on time! We even remembered to pack the present! BUT in fairness and honesty and all that, we did forget to bring the magical card that pays for things. Which we didn't actually realise until we tried to make a super quick stop at Officeworks on the way from Christening to the after party. So still no good contact. I tried book plastic. Or should I say covered one book with it, only to wake to the rest used as something (I still don't understand, but apparently a very good game) Henry invented. And I tried the newsagent contact. I will not use it again. So it looks like 5 kids and I will have to buy some tomorrow. That is after finding the clean house that exists under the mess.








After-Christening-party!



Izzy having a go at Greek dancing.


Grandpa is just so funny!


Lucy becoming tired and Daisy looking at all the balloons.


Oh, my, how sweet is Daisy in this Collette Dinnigan dress!


My lovely collecting-treasures-always girl loved the pressed flower picture on the wall and wanted a pic.


Leo is so loved!


I honestly have hardly any photos of the boys because they moved the entire time we were there. With lots of other kids around they had a ball!


As we left the street of the party, we had to turn left due to the 'no-right-turn' sign. It makes me smile thinking about how many memories are made from necessary detours. Heading in the opposite direction of home Jack asked if we could go to the beach later, answering "perhaps" as we headed in the direction of our favourite beach. I turned to Craig and said the beach was a couple of minutes away, so why not just go? 'Why not?' tends to be a question leading to more fun than 'why?' So we went to the beach.
















And that was our Saturday. Full to the brim with happy. I hope your was too. What did you get up to?

Jen.x