We are almost there. And why we are never prepared enough for this time of year.

Tonight I finally got to speak with my best friend, for the first time in what feels like forever. We got the chance to vent and go through all that is challenging us right now. And I had far too much to say. Far too much.

This afternoon my family went to a lovely housewarming party. Great hosts, well organised, everyone relaxed, good food, and us: excited to be attending. I was really looking forward to it. As a family of 7, invitations are few and far between, as it is a lot of people to invite over all at once. So the girls chose their dresses carefully. Henry always chooses his clothes carefully. Jack picked the only outfit he was sure would match well. And I even carefully made (sewed) part of the gift. Excited!

It had been really busy all day, and I absentmindedly felt to be missing something as we left the house. I remembered the gift at the last minute, there sitting on the table, and felt that must have been what I was thinking about and ran down to the car.

It wasn't until I arrived and sat down that I started to notice a few things.

First it was my clothes. Hmmm, I completely forgot to get changed before we left.

Then I remembered I was interrupted after brushing my teeth this morning, so I never actually brushed my hair.

Then people with flawless makeup appeared. Yep, never got to that drawer either. But that wasn't even the worst part.

Daisy wanted watermelon. So I asked Craig to grab a bib from the baby bag. It wasn't there.

Suddenly I realised that at no point had I checked or refilled the baby bag. No bibs, no spare clothes, not even a dummy or drink bottle (for any of the 5 children!) or any dairy free food. Nothing.

Mum of 5 without a clue. And so many parents around me with everything completely under control. And I bet they had even looked in a mirror before they left the house. I chided myself again that we still hadn't even gotten around to installing our full length mirror.

So of course easy-toddler Daisy turned into a terror. So used to having all her needs perfectly met, she was none too happy in a sticky (watermelon) and wet (drinking from a cup that she HAD to hold herself) dress. With no dummy to quietly avert tantrums. Not the worst toddler behaviour I have seen from my children combined, but definitely the worst from her. She was tired, grumpy, and difficult. And it was completely my fault.

You see I thought I was prepared. I thought I had everything under control. I was excited, I had worked toward going, but somehow in the process I had missed a few things.

Which brings me back to my chat with my best friend tonight.

After I poured out my heart as to all the things that just aren't working, aren't going well and how much I have to do, with the not-enough-time-to-do-it, she said something very important.

"Don't you remember, we always feel like this at this time of year! We are nearly there."

I instantly knew she was right. But I was cranky with myself, because if I know it will be this way, then why is like this year after year. Why am I not getting better at it?

Sitting here now, I thought back over the day and realised how much the circumstance with Daisy was just so very the same.

I knew months ago that this time of year is high pressure, so I started preparing. And I did my best. I organised, looked over our decisions, and felt confident we could make it though fine. Smooth sailing! And I was super excited!

But then the kids got sick. Doctors visits. Me with hives. Blood tests. Exhaustion. Plain I-just-want-to-curl-up-in-a-corner-somewhere-for-a-week tiredness. But no. Instead dance rehearsals, food (that has to be prepared all-the-time, ALL-THE-TIME!!!) and all the Christmas stuff that somehow slips under the radar. Again.

Yes. Sometimes I miss stuff. I don't think to plan for stuff. And it all gets too hard.

And sometimes I forget to pack the baby bag.

But my friend was right. We are nearly there. An end is in sight. It is not going to last forever.

Today the kids had a ball at the house warming party. I was able to chat to a few people in between trying to redirect and pacify Daisy, and we made it through the BBQ. Just. And managed to leave before she truly lost it (getting into the car), so yay, win!

And this is what we will remember.

Not the fact that I didn't brush my hair or even try to look nice. Not the empty baby bag.

I will remember the fun. The connecting. The laughs. The friends.

So in all the stress I'm feeling now, the not-enough I'm carrying, the how-can-I-get-it-all-done-and-stay-sane that I'm trying to make sense of, I need to remember a few very important things.

I'm nearly there.

I will make it though, hair done or not, boxes ticked or not, with or without all the details taken care of.

And all I will remember is the fun. The giggles, the cuddles, the stories and the bright eyes filled with excitement.

In years to come when I look back on this time, the details and the problems and the disasters will fade. And the moments of joy will remain.

And I know, with absolute clarity, that I won't remember Daisy's watermelon soaked dress.

I will remember her giggling at the puppy as she tried to pat it, hugging me with her head on my shoulder, and the simple happiness of eating a piece of watermelon without a care in the world.

Jen.x

15 years of marriage. And why everyone needs someone who will get an elastic band without saying a word.

This afternoon I walked into the house dragging five tired, complaining children behind me, and went to the sink to wash my hands as I always do. I couldn't help but smile. There, sitting on the window sill, was a single rose picked from our garden in one of my favourite glasses. Craig had left for work while I was out and he had left this simple gift, that spoke so very much.

You see, today is my 15th wedding anniversary.

There will be no fanfare, and we were just so amazingly grateful to go out for a couple of hours this morning to see a movie together. But it's not the day that I think is all that important. Either the number of years. I guess it is not time that tells me that I am constantly blessed by my marriage to my husband.

Craig and I have never found staying together a challenge. It's the time apart that we struggle with. Although I can't complain because it is often work and kids that make me realise how valuable our marriage is to me, and just how much I completely love him. It is often moments, like right now when he is not with me, that I notice how much it matters that we are an 'us.'

Craig is often asked about making marriage work with five kids, and how it's even possible to have a surprise 5th child, and his reply (after laughing) is always the same: happy wife, happy life and relationships are 100% each way, none of that 50% business.

Thinking about why I love Craig or why our marriage works so well, I often come back to one moment in time, many years ago, that is truly an example of what I think real love is. It wasn't at our wedding, although that was a beautiful day, it was some time later. Getting married is easy. Being married and doing life together is a whole different story. So in telling you this story, you will know one of my worst moments as a mother, and one of my most loved moments as a wife.

One evening I was losing my mind. Yes, I was really struggling to hold it all together. Lucy was four weeks old and I had to spend the day trialling her on soy milk before she could be prescribed the Elecare (elemental) formula the paediatrician believed she needed. Isabel was not quite 20 months old and Jack was 4 years old. And they were all crying. Lucy had developed eczema all over her body as the result of having a total of 65mls of soy formula. She had been screaming all day as I tried and I tried and I tried and I tried, to get her to drink. Lucy would not drink. Instead she cried. Lucy would not sleep. She cried. And two very little children, who had probably had enough of having a little sister after four weeks of screaming, cried too.

I had held it together all day alone. I made breakfast, lunch and dinner alone, with Lucy in the sling, as I had been doing for a month, as she continued to cry. I got out activities to keep an overactive 4 year old entertained and kept toddler-Isabel safe from harm, giving her all she needed, as Lucy cried. I bathed them all, read stories and got the older two into bed. And still Lucy would not drink or sleep, but she cried.

And then Isabel started crying and calling "mummy." With nothing left, still trying to force feed Lucy, I called out to her that I would be there soon.

And then Jack started to cry and call out. They were all crying and I was alone.

And I was done.

I just couldn't do it anymore. Not. One. Minute. More. Any clear thinking had been used up for the day. I could see nothing but failure, and tears, and not enough.

I remember putting Lucy in the rocker, more out of instinct than anything, and throwing the bottle at the wall. And then I picked up the next closest thing, threw the TV remote, breaking it and ran to the kitchen, beyond the baby gate, separated from them, and sat in the corner and cried.

We all cried.

And then I took a breath, prayed, calmed down, and found the strength to move on. I settled the older children, assuring them that daddy would be home in a few hours to give them a kiss goodnight as they had missed him so very much, and then returned to Lucy. I gave her the formula we already knew she was allergic to, deciding crying and rashes with something in her tummy, was better than nothing. Like clockwork, she passed out at around 11pm and I began the huge task of making some sense of the chaos that had enveloped the house in the process.

An hour later Craig walked in. Without looking up I said "Lucy wouldn't stop crying."

He gave me a hug and told me it would be alright. And then without any fuss Craig went and found an elastic band and tied it around the TV remote, then helped me finish tidying up.

It isn't pretty. There were no flowers or grand gestures. Weekends away are something we have never had. And the idea of date nights are a joke.

But I know he will always get an elastic band without saying a word. Without judgement. Without the need for explanation. And he will just know I need a hug and to be told everything will be alright, even when he is not sure it will be.

Craig is right, it is 100% giving both ways. Love is in the actions, not the words.

Marriage is being able to see the person in all things, in all circumstances, and chose love first. Love before judgement in the not-so-pretty times. Giving when it doesn't seem fair, and giving up the idea that entitled is something that can ever be.

Yes, love is choosing to be completely unselfish. It is choosing kindness when it is hard to. It's choosing patience and truth and letting go. It's choosing washing dishes instead of TV, explaining to children why they must avoid questioning mummy while she is dealing with morning sickness, working yet another double shift, accepting ten years of no holidays, and knowing the exact moment when comfort is all that is needed at a time when there are just no words. And it's living for five years with a remote held together with an elastic band without ever saying a mean word about it.

Today I have been married for fifteen years. It is just another day, like any other ordinary day.

Another wonderfully blessed day, married to the man I know I will love forever.

Jen.

Our advent calendar: a simple and beautiful tradition. And many other options.

We started our advent calendar tradition long ago, but it has changed along the way to meet our family the way it really is. I love advent calendars for many reasons. For starters it can be easily tailored to the family it is created for, and as I strongly believe all families are different, I think this is great. The rhythms and traditions of a family can help bring a closeness and distinct feeling of belonging that most people crave. And it is pretty easy to make one, with almost a month to enjoy it.

There are many great ideas out there for advent calendars. Pinterest is a great resource. Listed below are just a few ideas that could be considered if my how-to is not right for your family:

* Brown paper bags filled with items of choice (see included list.)
* Ikea sandwich/lolly bags filled with items of choice.
* Matchboxes glued together to make a 5 x 5 array.
* 25 Christmas books/DVDs wrapped up, to be unwrapped one a day.
* 25 small fabric bags containing decorations to place on the tree, one every day.
* Kmart brand 'take one peg off per day' calendar.
* Coles (and many other sellers!) little drawer advent calendar.
* IKEA small gift bag advent calendar (even the number stickers are included!)

Filling your advent calendar

I try to fill our advent calendar with useful items. I don't do food items after the December of a few years ago. My children only get to have lollies at birthday parties and on other special occasions, due to the reactions some of them have to certain food ingredients. Let's just say that we survived the food-included advent calendar. Just. So if your children can tolerate lollies these would be another choice. With ideas drawn from the internet, friends and just wandering around the stores, I have included below items for young children through to a few teen ideas:

* Decorations for the tree
* Lip balm
* Play doh
* Special hair things
* Socks
* Postage stamps
* Special writing paper
* Lego mini figure
* Character cup
* Tennis ball/other ball
* Fabric or other small sewing items
* Multicolour pen
* Glitter glue
* Masking tape, sticky tape or washi tape
* Tiny book
* Farm animals
* Crayons, pencils, textas (small packets are available and great for taking to all the Christmas-time events)
* Small notepad or post-its
* Small cross stitch
* Tiny doll (like Lalaloopsy)
* iTunes gift card
* Handmade voucher for free app down load for iPod
* Nail polish or other make up
* Character underwear
* Paper muffin cups or cookie cutter with the promise to make something with mum/dad
* Card games
* Torch
* Small figurine
* Coloured envelopes
* Matchbox car/plane/motorbike
* Road/train-track tape
* Sketching pencils
* Chalk
* Dummies
* Character/light-up/makes-sound toothbrush
* New case for Dsi or Dsi games (look at specials- I found one for $2 at Target!)
* Small make-up case
* Pencil case for the next school year
* Craft punch (from scrapbooking sections of stores)
* Googly eyes
* Pom pom maker

Each of my children has 5 gifts to unwrap as part of our advent calendar this year. The items are pictured below in reverse age order, which is the order of our calendar so that Isabel gets to open hers on her birthday. I picked up the items as part of regular shopping and didn't really plan exactly what I was going to buy. If I have to sit down and plan everything, it just wouldn't happen.

Making our Advent Calendar

I use brown paper all the time now because I bought a massive roll of it two years ago. I love it. I could have decorated it, stamped the numbers rather than writing on with gifts with a red sharpie, or any number of more fancy ideas, but truthfully, I just don't want to devote that kind of time to it. Fast and simple are much more my speed!

I normally start by laying out the gifts in a grid so I can see what it will look like, and gather all my supplies in the downstairs playroom. It looks something like this when I'm set up.

I then use spare minutes here and there to get the gifts wrapped, still keeping them in the grid.

I write on numbers next, in the same way, a few at a time, in odd moments like waiting for a load of washing to finish or the kids to put shoes on. I usually add glitter glue over the top of the numbers at this point, but with the kids home sick I couldn't 'borrow' any with them all around. No glitter glue this year. The key with the entire process is to deliberately make it all different. Different numbers, wrap not-quite-neatly, and tie the string in random order, varying the amount of times. Perfect is just too hard, and I would end up not finishing because it would take too much time. Near enough is definitely good enough with an advent calendar. Tinsel covers any bits that don't look right;)

The next step is when I get to be a tiny bit creative in that I get to decorate the gifts any way I want. In the past I've used wool, twine, etc to tie around the gifts (or brown paper bags before I had the paper.) This year I bought some bakers twine in red, red/white, blue and blue/white, so I used this. I wrapped it around a few times and tied it to the back. I have on occasion tied the string to the front.

Next I put the twine across the window. We always use the same window. It has the worst view in the whole house so I don't care that it is covered with the advent calendar. My original roll of twine was much nicer, but it disappeared so I had to buy a new roll.

This is when I bundle up the gifts and bring them upstairs to hang. I tied them to the string line with ribbon as I had a huge roll. I will keep these ribbons for future years. In the past I used twine or decorated pegs, which looked good too. I add decorations to the front of the gifts to be put on the tree before opening the gift. We have always done this and it is one of the kids favourite parts of the advent calendar. Having six other people watch you place a decoration on the tree is important to them and they all choose a place carefully each time.

This is it before the tinsel:

And this is the finished result!

This is what our advent calendar looked like last year:

It would be great if you could add your own ideas for advent calendar fillings in the comments section to help others still looking for ideas. Have fun making yours!

Jen.x

Creating the best-ever craft box for 7-12 year olds. The perfect gift for a creative older child.

Isabel adores craft of any kinds. She loves sewing, knitting and she knows all about the different kinds of glue.

When I carefully explain the categories of gifts that were being given this year, her first response (after attempting to add additional categories) was to comment on the design-a-present: "Mine has to be about art or craft." I replied that it was mummy and daddy's decision but we would take her views into consideration. For a child who had been chosen for a special art group at school this year, of course her design-a-gift was going to have this focus! But I had to keep it a surprise. She is really going to love it!

I started with a simple, inexpensive, shallow box that I would be happy to have sitting on our shelves within plain sight. I purchased one identical to Henry's (ultimate craft box for 3-6yrs.) Although some of the inclusions are the same, overall they are very different. As Isabel is extremely patient, Henry often chooses to do sitting-down-quietly activities with her. I know that giving them gifts that look similar (even if just on the outside) will be an encouragement to both of them.

Items to include:

Shiny, fluro, and/or coloured paper
Corrugated card in various colours
Patterned cards
Plain coloured cards and envelopes
'Brown paper' cards and envelopes
Jewel stickers
Letter stickers
Tiny pegs
Ric-a-rack (zig-zag-like ribbon/tape)
Good quality paint brushes
Various colours and widths of ribbons
'Ball' edging in a few different colours
Craft punches in more than one shape (often used for scrap-booking)
Gold or silver tinted leaf skeletons
Washi tape (patterned, gold, silver, glitter)
Lace, both gathered and flat types
Googly eyes
Buttons (large variety)
Premade little flowers
Proper artist sketching pencils
Jute twine
Fabric (here I have used pre-cut squares)
Crepe paper streamers
Biased binding
Patty pan cases
A small container to add the easily-lost items to

Isabel will also be given a lovely watercolour paint set from IKEA

Other possible inclusions (we already had these):

Old fashioned wooden pegs
Glue (especially craft glue rather than paper glue)
Sticky tape and dispenser
Sharpies textas (Costco has a great coloured set)
Coloured gel pens (my kids love the Smiggle brand best)
Other stickers
A small canvas
Pieces of coloured plastic 'contact'
Felt in a few colours
Good scissors (not just paper scissors)
Embroidery thread
Sewing needles
Beads in various shapes and sizes
Thin elastic
Feathers
Scrapbook (regular or more grown up version)
Wool
White paper- giving a ream of paper with this gift would be awesome. It would be like permission to create without boundaries. Many children are afraid of using everything up so will hold off experimenting.

This kit can be used to make cards, create scrapbooks (with the addition of a proper scrapbook,) painting, making artworks using different mediums (think Jeannie Baker,) sketching, and making many amazing creations. I can imagine Isabel will probably use some of the items from this box with her sewing kit and the craft items we already have (listed above) to make wooden fairies, felt people etc.

I am completely happy with this box and know she will hours of fun with it. I hope this has given you lots of ideas too.

For a craft box designed for younger children: 3-6 year olds here.

Jen.x