My greatest flaw is that I can become bored easily and I find it hard to just sit still and be. I generally like moving onto the next big thing. I love the anticipation and challenge as much as I love the crisp Autumn air as I go to hang the washing out of a morning and the leaves in their various shades.
But deep down I always know that winter will come. The leaves will be gone and it will be just cold. Like this realisation, I sometimes know that moving onto the next big thing will require a winter of my own. I remember coming to this point right before I gave birth to Daisy. Oh so excited! Standing on the brink of a new adventure. Oh so terrified. Winter was near and I knew it.
Yesterday Craig cut our pear tree back. Autumn is long gone, so sadly it was time. I don't like this part of winter. All the beautiful trees are pruned back to nothing, ugly, until spring. So I watched on as I hung the washing out, hoping winter would hurry up and go. Reflecting as I did, winter is just to endure. Waiting. As patiently as possible, until spring.
Walking back inside I sighed, knowing all that was left was to pick up the pieces. More work. Reminding me of the winter I have since emerged from. Soon I became caught up in other tasks and forgot the remains of the pear tree.
Later that afternoon with busy children milling about the house, girls in their pjs early after a hard day at school, the boys ran outside to play. Isabel and Lucy took turns playing with Daisy and doing their homework, giving me time to finish up a blog post and organise the washing (dry, dryer needed, inside hanging required). The afternoon passed and suddenly Jack and Henry appeared at the back door with huge smiles, claiming that I just had to see something really special. I slowly got up from typing, as this request is a constant one in my house, and made my way rather unenthusiastically to the back door.
As I walked around the corner, an amazing stick teepee stood before me. The boys stood beaming, "mum look at what we made!" At first I was speechless. It always impresses me just how wonderfully creative they are (although the creative following-of-directions not so much!) I smiled and replied, "wow! Great effort boys! You must have worked really hard on that." Everyone came out to look. Lucy in her pjs, Elsa dress and all, because how often is a great teepee made from left overs?
As it turns out winter is not just for enduring. For me, I will look on my next winter with new eyes. It's a time to be creative. To look that bit harder for the good. To make teepees out of a beautiful tree that has been cut back to nothing and had its growth discarded. Because when life next lands around my feet, I hope I will see the endless possibilities that lay before me. Not just the mess and loss of what I once had. I hope.
As it turns out winter is not just for enduring. For me, I will look on my next winter with new eyes. It's a time to be creative. To look that bit harder for the good. To make teepees out of a beautiful tree that has been cut back to nothing and had its growth discarded. Because when life next lands around my feet, I hope I will see the endless possibilities that lay before me. Not just the mess and loss of what I once had. I hope.
Putting the tree back together would never have worked. It would never have been the same, and trying to make it so, would only have been a reminder of what was broken. Using the pieces to make something new was the amazing part.
I often reflect on the fact that I have learnt more and grown more due to my children, than they do because of me. Hard work with a dash of creativity, minus focusing on what was. Thank you my gorgeous boys. Lesson learnt.
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