Autumn craft extravaganza. Photos and ideas.

A couple of Saturdays ago, we had an Autumn craft afternoon. I had my niece and nephew in our home too, so it was art and craft for seven children 1 to 11 years.

I cleared our long dining table and set it up with many different materials to be used.

I added pencils, scissors, glue, paint, and round crayons from The Poppy Fox.

I started by showing the kids some different ideas I had, and techniques I had thought to use.

Then they all had a game of musical statues to start. Because apparently that's a great start to autumn activities.

The kids had a great time creating for a few hours.

And then it was time to clean up. The vacuum cleaner and dishwasher were a big help, but overall it didn't take too long, because everything we used has it's own 'spot'.

Overall, it was a really fun couple of hours. A few children were not quite ready to say goodbye to Autumn craft, so continued with one of the activities once all was cleaned up.

Jen.x

Motherhood, expectations, and noticing wonderful.

There are such beautiful spaces where I work. I often pass right by without noticing.

This afternoon I noticed. I chose to notice.

I had what turned out to be a good day at work. This afternoon I played the game 'Socially Speaking' (teaching social skills) with a group of boys. One student landed on a "give a compliment" square. He sat there and thought long and hard, looking around at all the people in the group. And then finally, he turned to me:

"Mrs Shipway. You are such a great teacher for me. I hope you can teach me in this group next year too."

This was not an easy thing for him to formulate and say, so it just about melted my heart! Teaching provides wonderful moments like this often. Moments where students tell me they think I'm the best. Moments when I can actually see the a connection being made: that light bulb! Moments when I see new friendships being formed. I could go on! It's all amazing. Awesome!

But this isn't most of the time. Most of the time I'm wishing I had more hours in the day. I'm researching how I can perhaps help another child who is struggling. I hear constant I-don't-get-it-s and explain-again-s. And sometimes I feel that overwhelmed feeling, while rushing about trying to meet everyones' needs.

Yet with teaching, even though I don't see big-moments all the time, I am aware that I am always looking for them. I am always expecting great things and notice the little gains, all the while not being overly discouraged by the hard parts.

What I realised today, walking past the beautiful spaces at school without noticing, was that I am not the same person at home. At home I just don't notice all the great, much of the time.

At work I see the good. I focus on the good. Inside I celebrate every tiny accomplishment.

At home I don't.

I'm too busy being focused on what I'm not doing. On what my children are not doing. I'm focused all too often on why I'm not meeting the too high expectations I constantly set, yet seem to find it too hard to change. And to make matters worse I know I'm doing it, so am hard on myself about that too.

To be honest I don't know exactly what to do about it. Adding something else to my exhausting to-do list would have me crying in the corner. But I would love to be more like teacher-me at home.

I'm always saying to look for and capture those special everyday moments that will never happen again. I say to myself that time is short and realise that the moments I live now, will one day be the wonderful memories I will treasure. And I do this with everything in me. That's just it: I am great at the doing. It's the just being and letting go that I have a problem with. I've written about it before, yet seem to find it a hard lesson to learn. This steals my opportunity to be present and notice all the wonderful things.

So my aim for tonight is not going to be homework and dinner and readers and endless cleaning up and bedtimes.

Tonight, I choose to notice the little things. I choose to put aside all the have-to-s that are weighing me down and just be. And maybe in doing so I will actually start to see all the awesome that deep down I know is here.

And if that doesn't help, and it's a complete disaster: hugs and stories. There are never enough hugs or stories.

Jen.x

Making the best decision for my child. And realising what is actually most important.

Today I was not completely organised. I was organised last night to go to night church with the kids, only to discover Craig had the keys with him at work. And he was working a double shift.

The craziness and meltdowns that followed the disappointment of not going, caused too much work (oh Sudocrem I hate you!) and tiredness. I was challenged at every point. I was slower at every task. I forgot things. I went to bed after 1 am, feeling that overwhelming sense of failure. And so this morning was somewhat of a blur: doing hair, drink bottles in bags, and forgotten school notes.

It wasn't until I was sitting at Daisy's dancing that I had the chance to think about what was happening for the rest of the day. Another mum asked me what we were up to after dancing. I couldn't think. Having to be honest I told her I hadn't really thought about it, but as the lack of essentials flooded my mind, I concluded that I would have to do some grocery shopping. Following the Sudocrem vs lounge fiasco yesterday, at the very least I needed tissues. They are extremely necessary in a house of 7 people. My Costco reserve shelf was empty, so we have been shopping at night once every few days. Unfortunately tonight this was impossible, so this was the one and only opportunity.

Not thinking much of it, I left dancing with Daisy and headed for the local shopping centre. As I helped Daisy out of the car I felt a little uncertain. It was after all her snack time, and I had no snacks. She is also not a fan of lots of people and noise. Being the homebody she is, she loves quiet and calm. I shook off my concerns. This is Daisy, I told myself. She is easy and I'll be in and out in no time.

Only I wasn't.

Having not gone shopping much in the daytime for years (other than at crazy, fast afternoon times) I had forgotten that the pace of day time trolleys is much slower. Much slower. I reminded myself to be patient and smiled at all the people wanting to say 'hi' to Daisy, or others who wanted to tell me how cute she looked. And then we reached the baby food section. She has what she calls a "squeezy fruit" when I wake her to pick the kids up from school, because she is too tired to eat. Daisy saw them and naturally wanted one. It was an hour after snack time, but I managed to convince her to wait, thinking we wouldn't be too much longer, and hid them at the bottom of the trolley. With the tears avoided I tried to quickly move on. Trolleys seemed to move slower.

Then she saw rice milk in the cold food section. Her rice milk. In the last isle.

She completely lost it.

It had been too long. It had been too slow. She was hungry and I hadn't packed my bag with anything other than a nappy and dance stuff in the morning. The squeezy fruit pack was under a massive pile of too many things.

She was done. So she cried.

And understanding why, knowing there was really nothing I could do to fix it for her in that moment, I did the only thing I could do. I gave her a hug. I stroked her hair as she cried, and told her it would be all over soon. She calmed a little and we made it to the register, where she began crying once again. I picked her up and cuddled her, as I unloaded the trolley one handed (at the speed of years of experience.) Finally, with the trolley unpacked and her food found, she settled, tired but thankful back in the trolley ready to go home.

On the drive home I had a moment in my own thoughts to reflect.

There are some big decisions in the process of being made in our home right now. Decisions that although mainly concern only one child, will have the ripple affect in the years to come for the others. For all of us in fact. The hugeness of this has had a somewhat crippling affect on my ability to make decisions. Like everything with my children I am conscious of the repercussions that can result from big decisions.

It all comes down to the fact, that the hard thing about making decisions is just: I don't want us to make the wrong choice.

After today with Daisy though, I am reminded that often a decision just has to be made for the good of our family. And experience reminds me that sometimes I won't make the right choice. At times it might not even be close to the best choice. But usually, this can only be seen in hindsight. Like the moment when a toddler starts crying in the cold foods section of a supermarket. Perhaps though, it isn't so much the 'right' decision that really matters. Maybe what is really important is what comes after. Maybe it's what I do in response to what comes next.

Sometimes all there is, is jumping in, eyes wide open, all together, waiting to find out where we land. Waiting; ready to smile and embrace in pure happiness, or to simply be there to catch each other when we fall, for the hugs and tears.

Either way, it's not really the decision in itself that matters. It's the jumping together. And the being there. And the hugs, to the exclusion of the outside world. That is what makes a family, and children strong enough to make it in the world beyond. For my children, it's knowing that no matter what, Craig and I will be always there. Waiting to be what they need in the time that comes after.

No, I won't always make the best decisions for my children. I won't. And that hurts so much to admit and commit to words.

But.

But I will always be there to jump with them if they need me to.

And I will always be there to hug them when it all gets too much, and they have had enough.

Even if it is in the middle of a supermarket, surrounded by slow trolleys.

Jen.x

Autumn books for children. And why we pay attention to the seasons.

We talk a great deal about seasons in our home.

As each season draws to a close, a new one dawns, and I choose to recognise and celebrate it, with the kids. We are very mindful of the rhythm of life and all the new and wonderful things that are present in changes as they come our way. We choose to focus on the awesomeness of change because in reality, they world my children will be a part of in the future, will be one that is fluid and ever-changing. Seeing possibility rather than fear will be an asset.

Understanding that life is ever moving and changing is also more than important for children. Actually it's something that I need to be often reminded of. It is far too easy to feel a difficult moment or period of time will last forever. It generally doesn't. But this is a very difficult concept to teach children. And so we look at the natural rhythms in life and all the new possibilities each new season brings. We focus on changes good and bad and ones that we don't even notice, and the impact that they have. At the same time discussing how fleeting some of these affects can be. The seasons - life - moves on and soon we face a new season and change again.

We talk about how different people around our world experience seasons differently, and can respond differently as well. But then I love any opportunity to talk about how we are all different to my little ones. Understanding that some people find cold/hot weather more difficult to withstand than others, can be a small beginning in the development of empathy for a young child. Understandings of big topics often don't come all at once, taught at school. Understandings, empathy and kindness build over time, moments added to moments. This is just one small way to build into this.

You have all read by now that I believe there are never enough hugs or stories. It is almost always my answer if a moment, or even a day, just can't be saved. So I guess it is only natural that my jumping off point for each new season would be stories. Books! How I love thee! Often they are followed with much talk, exploring our natural environment and then finally creative endeavours. These creative moments can vary significantly from art projects to the things like the pear-tree tee-pee.

I will let you in on Autumn's creative adventures after the fact, soonish. For now, these are a quick collection of our Autumn books. There are more, but some are not in our main children's book case, and this is plenty for my children for now. "Guess how much I love you, in the Autumn" is one that the kids love, but alas, someone has it somewhere. It will turn up.

My favourite Autumn book is below. I had the same book as a child. I was thrilled to get the four book set from the Book Depository! The kids love them.

Best toddler board book:

Best interactive book (great for reluctant readers or active children):

Love the "Bear" books. Each one is set in a different season.

Just an awesome book that happens to be set in Autumn. Great for helping children to acknowledge the different strengths others have.

New readers love the simplicity of this book. While not really Autumn, the colours remind us of Autumn.

Isabel's all time favourite book (part of Eloise Wilkin collection):

Yes we have LOTS of squirrel books. Lucy adores them.

The BEST overall seasons book that I read all the time:

The second best:

And this is a lovely seasons book too (part of a Little Golden Book collection):

All together, placed on some Autumn themed fabric, the collection looks like this:

Not too many to feel overwhelming, but enough collected together to encourage interest. The kids have now seen them and have already begun to collect natural items in readiness for the next step.

They recognise the rhythm of our home.

Love it.

Jen.x

Memories. Children and the growing up that I love and hate.

There is this wonderful thing found in having children. It's called growing up.

There is a terribly hard thing found in having children. It's called growing up.

As I watch my cuties daily, it's hard to see the growing and changing. It happens slowly, without warning. Until I blink. And then yesterday is suddenly years ago.

And then there are those moments that I find myself confronted with the growing up, in all it's amazing wonder and I-can't-believe-we-made-it-here feelings. There is that overwhelming feeling of happiness and gratitude to have made it through the difficult times. Then there is remembering times that will forever be crystallised as moments of pure joy, connected to that incredible feeling of my heart bursting out of my chest. Those moments feel like they can never be matched.

All of these wonderful feelings are always there when I look back.

But there is another feeling that I struggle with. It's that brief, niggling feeling of sadness, that is very real and there, not because of anything sad really. It's that sad-through-smiling feeling that comes from moving on, never to return again. It's the deep knowing that comes from moments that are truly gone.

As I spent time today taking photos of Term 4 2014 artwork and school work and writing and everything my children created, I had far too much time to think. My mind went back to the moments they each created their work or proudly showed me finished items. I continued to take photos, and place the items in the rubbish bag. Over and over. Smiling. Remembering. And that sigh, knowing those times are over.

Yet again I was faced with the reality of moments lived becoming memories. And so quickly.

All the moments I live are never to return.

The memories, in all the incredible rawness, the heart-breaking hurts, the sweetness, the you-are-the-best-mummy bits, the midnight adventures, the tears, the smiling-till-it-hurts, the too-hard days, the hugs that feel never-ending. And then there are the in-between nothing days that I once thought I'd be glad to leave behind, but five children on, know one day I will want back.

I know I will.

I know I will because of the little you-are-my-world smile of Jack's that disappeared. I know because of the rest-of-the-world-ceases-to-exist feeling, I was privileged to feel each time Henry needed me to lay snuggled up beside him to fall asleep, is over. I know because Isabel and Lucy no longer sit together reading pretend stories to each other, giggling. It has been such a challenging 11 years, and many times I felt I would never see light again. It has been incredibly hard. I remember being told so many times that my actions then would mean that I'd be doing something forever. But it all ended. Each hard time ended, leaving wisps of memories that will forever have me smiling through threatening tears.

A few months ago Daisy's Paediatrician warned me that if I continued to give Daisy a bottle at night she would never stop. I nodded and listened. I have learnt over the years to 'smile and nod' quite well. But I was thinking to myself how I'd love it to be true. The scared mum I was with Jack, worried that each stage wouldn't never end, is long gone. Left in her place is a mum who holds onto each moment as it passes knowing it will be over too soon, never to be repeated again. A few more months snuggled in a rocker with a toddler will disappear in a heart beat. And there is no way in the world I will rush them to be over.

The only always with my children is love and change. I will always love them and they will always grow and change.

Having a front row seat through the growing up moments is such a wonderful gift. And I will continue to be thankful for each amazing and challenging experience. Although sometimes it will be with a smile and a lump in my throat.

And I will endeavour to love them through each new memory we create together.
Evermore.

Jen.x

Why DIY renovating is worth it. Beyond the finished result.

There is no way around it: renovating an area of your home without tradespeople is hard work. Really hard work. When kids are added to the mix it involves some creative parenting ideas and usually very late nights. Adding five children to renovating has been incredibly tough for Craig and I, but with finances stretched to meet the needs of our family, and needing a house big enough to (barely) fit us all, in a family friendly area, sacrifices have to be made. One such sacrifice is buying a house that requires renovating, and then doing these renovations ourselves. I do have to say though, that we actually enjoy the rush of it all. The Block would be easy in comparison!

While painting into the early hours of the morning, I kept myself awake chatting with Craig and thinking about many distracting things. One important thing that came to mind was: how does renovating by ourselves benefit our family? Below is a list that I created while finishing the undercoat in the laundry.

By the way, I'm loving the home we are creating and feel entirely blessed to have it:)

Benefits of renovating:

1) A finished result that suits our family perfectly. We don't have to put up with the perfect another family created. I researched and spent a huge amount of time deciding on plans for the laundry. Some compromises have had to be made to adjust the cost, but it is lovely compared to what it was before!

2) My children see a united front. Renovating is one very visual reminder that Craig and I are in this together. We talk about the whole project in terms of 'we' and I can tell they love it. We work together. We are very much on the same page and achieve something together. Teamwork and laughing and fun and discussions= relationship building. This is really important to the fabric of our family. Weekends away never ever happen, dinner out is rare for us, BUT we can spend a lot of time together chatting while renovating.

3) Renovating often requires learning new skills. These skills are often completely unknown and challenging. It is great for children to see their parents actually learning and failing and trying again. Parents tell their children that this cycle is worthwhile and this is one way for them to see it in action.

4) A break from the mundane. When life feels like it is all about the washing and meal preparation, a break can be as good as a holiday. Renovating will certainly provide this change in spades. In fact it will change the way life is done for a while!

5) It helps with the appreciation of what feels sometimes like a repetitive day to day life. Following on from the last point, altering the way general living takes place can help with realising how awesome the everyday mundane actually is. It's all too easy to take life for granted. Renovating can provide a swift reality check.

6) Sometimes people do things just to say they have done them. It's that 'I really did it!!!' feeling. Jumping out of a plane. Walking over a path of hot coals. Giving birth. Whatever! Renovating absolutely fits in here.

7) Renovators join the renovators club. All those who have renovated before will nod along empathetically when ever someone who is in the throws of renovating starts to speak. There is an instant bond amongst us, and we have a language all our own. Stories aplenty are encouraged and shared. The best part is that these stories are timeless and ageless, and can be told for years to come.

8) Renovating can help children to see true gender equality at work. So before Christmas there was a group that said parents shouldn't buy pink things for girls. Even if they like pink. Pffff! That is sooo going to solve everything, and telling little girls their favourite colour or toy is wrong will certainly make them feel empowered! (Insert sarcasm.) A much better idea might be to allow kids to actually see their parents living the way they say it should be. Want girls to believe women are capable of doing things traditionally labelled 'work for men?' Pick up a hammer. Or give tiling a go. All while dad gets the kids dinner and showers them ready for bed. Children believe and end up living what they experience. It all starts at home. And anyone who wants to like pink should be allowed to without being told it's wrong (down off my soap box.)

9) Renovating can show children what it is to be brave. It can be scary trying something new for the first time or stand up for what one believes is right. Kids know this for sure as they are trying new things all the time and are faced with many situations that challenge their own beliefs. Parents encourage their children, asking them to 'be brave and give it a go if you want to.' But how often do parents allow their children to see them do the same, stepping out into the new, challenging and difficult? Renovating will provide many opportunities for this.

10) Limits are found and a new appreciation for trades is discovered. No need to elaborate. Trades people, we LOVE you. Especially renderers. I hate rendering.

11) It is often cheaper. BUT that is only if the correct research is done, the work is done properly, trades are brought in for really tricky bits, corners are not cut, correct materials are sourced, etc. It's a lot of work and someone wanting a successful renovation has to be willing to put in the time and effort. It doesn't come easily. When everything is done correctly, careful budgeting takes place, extravagances are left out of the picture, and personal limits are acknowledged, it can be an experience that is kind to the bank balance. Probably.

12) It is just plain hilarious sometimes! It creates enough 'in' jokes to last for years. When life is getting far too serious (a.k.a. the school term) we only need to take a break from a "what are we going to do about this!" conversation, with a simple "remember when you....." Lightens the mood every time.

So renovating can be challenging (nice word for just plain hard, slightly impossible, work) but it certainly has it's up-side. Or at the very least I can tell myself that at 3am with a paint brush in my hand;)

Below are the Project Life pages I made about our Laundry renovation. For more on the renovation, look here for simple before and afters, or here for a detailed how-we-did-it version.

Jen.x