12 ways to rescue a bad day!

Looking back to this morning, I should have known today would be a challenging day. A day that started with a toddler crying at 5:30 because she couldn't find Cinderella, followed by discovering no milk in the fridge, and entering a traffic jam within minutes of leaving the house. Challenging. But alas, I am not known for giving up! This day can be saved, even as I sit here wondering how to break it to Isabel, once she gets back from swimming, that I let Daisy play with her video camera Barbie, and she broke it.

So I will share with you my ideas that have worked well in the past, in the hope that something will turn this day around. And perhaps help someone else in the process.

1. A hot shower or bath. Ahhhh. And pjs.

2. Wine and take away. Once the kids are all in bed. It's almost like a date night! [For those of us who can't go out anymore. If you can - why aren't you!!!!!!!]

3. Shake it off! And dance! It's especially fun with kids because they can be really funny dancers. Or you could turn the music up and sing along- especially helpful when stuck in the kitchen or kids are 'disagreeing.'

4. Have a cup of tea. Or any hot drink really. Just take a moment to regroup and make a mental plan to move forward. 

5. Go and spend time outdoors. Watch the waves crash on the shore, river flow, or walk along beside trees in a quiet space.

6. Do something intentionally for someone else with no expectation of anything to be given in return. Impossible not to smile after deliberate kindness.

7. Hugs. Kids, partner, whoever! 

8. Get some perspective. How does this day fit with your whole life? Is it really that big a deal? Take a step back and look at everything that is going on around you.

9. Reframe the day. Go back over the day reframing the events. For example: this morning Daisy woke me up at 5:30 to find Cinderella. Thankfully I had a spare in the cupboard a few steps from my bed. I was able to help her calm down quickly. Fairy godmother at your service right here!

10. Give someone else a genuine compliment. Even if your day feels like a bit of a disaster, it will not feel completely lost if you have made someone else's day.

11. Write down, or mentally note, a few things you are thankful for when looking back over your day. For me: driving home a bit late meant that I experienced every minute of sunset! Looking out over the Illawarra from the top of Bulli Pass with an almost completely pink sky and purple-blue water beyond was amazing.

12. Go to bed. Sleep. Everything always looks better in the morning.

Have you tried any of these? What are your best ideas for rescuing a bad day?

to

Jen.x

A blah day. And the new you-cannot-deliver-mail-naked rule.

Today is R U OK? Day. What a great day to share some quality complaining about my day. Yes, I would love to be the person who is always positive and finds joy in everything. But sometimes, I'm just not. Like most people, we know that the blah things that happen to us are really nothing compared to the huge, terrible stuff that is happening in others lives, so we stay silent. We end up feeling we are the only ones having blah days as a result. How about I get the ball rolling? Then for this day, since the question has been asked about a million times on Facebook, we can say how our day really was. Even if it is just whinging.

So, I'm done with today. Craig was answering a barrage of but-how-do-you-know-the-hot-plate-is-still-hot?-shouldn't-we-test-it? questions as he served up dinner and I hid around the corner in the study to start writing this. Because I was already done.

It's just been such a blah day, and I promised I would write about the good and the bad and the in-between bits. This is an in-between. It's not like it was the most terrible day ever. But I really need sleep, many hours (or even 6) in a row. And for my children to wake up tomorrow with the desire to acknowledge that I have spoken. I think I may in fact have been invisible today. Or maybe my voice had just been temporarily muted and I am the only one unaware.

I was completely prepared for the usual punishment I receive from Daisy following work (all the kids have done it), but I wasn't ready for them all to have a laugh-about-everything-be-silly-&-ignore-mummy day. The extra what-do-you-think-you-are-doing antics were a real bonus. I don't often have completely head-shaking days, but today was definitely one of them. Here's why.

Hands up anyone who has had to use the words "it is not okay to tie your brother up with skipping ropes while he is on the trampoline!! EVEN if he is the one who thought of it and asked you to!! No not even for science!!!!!" Anyone? No? And to make matters worse the older kids are not even allowed to be on the trampoline with the younger kids anyway. Just in case anyone is wondering, like Mr H, it is possible to still jump on a trampoline with arms and legs tied together. I'm glad that we have put that question to bed and he requires no further investigation. My banning of trampoline use for the rest of the day as a result didn't even stick. Ten minutes later I was putting this decision back into affect, met with fake-but-we-didn't-know looks.

I've also been given the opportunity to invent a new rule today. It is: you cannot deliver mail to anyone while you are naked. Henry decided he had to write and deliver mail to Isabel immediately. Getting dressed for bed was of no importance. Hence the rule. And yes, he did try to talk us out of the rule, but with a second parent in agreement offering to hold the mail, he caved. Mail is to be delivered with clothes on. Always a good rule to learn early.

When I add in the burping competition, the 2hr+appointment waiting with Miss D and Mr H, the sleep that didn't happen last night, and the flu that just doesn't want to leave me alone, defeat and sighs followed.

So when taking Lucy to the shops on the way home from dancing I already had a bad attitude. Then Lucy said something to stop me in my tracks. She looked up brightly at me as we crossed the car park on the roof of the shopping centre, and said, "Mummy! We get to see the sunset! How special!" I hadn't even noticed. Stuck in my hazy, bad mood I couldn't see the beauty before me. She asked to have her picture taken. I did this, grateful for a good moment among the blah. I wish I could say my mood brightened, but it didn't. Sometimes it's just hard to get out of that mood when I'm in it. Sometimes I don't even care to try. Waiting for the day to be over and start again is just so much easier.

So am I okay? Yes, I'm fine. Blah days come and go. Yes, I am so happy that they are all sleeping now and I get to have a new fresh day tomorrow. Having a few hours of uninterrupted sleep between now and then really wouldn't hurt, but whatever mood I wake in, and they wake in, we will be all in it together. That makes me smile. Perhaps I will resolve to try harder to make the best of it and chose to look for the good tomorrow, even if the good involves trampolines, mail, sighs and science experiments. Who knows. Right now, I choose honesty and say: there was good, bad, and for the most part in-between-blah today.

How was your day? Complaining about trivial things is completely allowed and encouraged. Sometimes we just need to have a conversation. And be real. It's the point of today after all. I look forward to hearing all about your day.

School speech topics and unplanned lamingtons in the park.

It all starts with 'news.'

At the beginning of kinder 'news' was cute. With my first at school it was even a bit exciting. Jack loved it! Speaking in front of a group of people uninterrupted - wow! He is the reason teachers are so great at the line "Just one more thing and then its time for questions." I'm sure that even then he probably had to be cut off when giving his answers. Jack would "um" and "ahh" about his topic of choice at first and then, when a list of topics came home, I barely gave it a glance. He could speak on any given topic. At length. Unendingly.

You see schools send home a list of weekly topics beginning in kindergarten, mostly to help children further investigate topics they are learning about at school. And perhaps partly because everyone ends up bored to tears after 24 talks based on the Lego movie. It is also put in place especially for those students who hate public speaking and seem to have nothing to say. My middle girls. Only they have plenty to say. Just not to the whole class at one time. Public speaking will probably never be their thing and I'm completely OK with that. After all, not all jobs require outgoing people and leaders need quiet followers too.

So unlike the years of Jack sailing through news and speeches, our weeks are now often guided by the news topic of the week. There are sighs of relief all round on 'free topic' week. Lucy grabs a toy as she leaves the house ('showing news' is easy) or if we forget she comes home complaining that she had to do 'talking news' (more accurately titled 'miming news' because no one can hear her.)

This term Lucy's class has news topics based on transport. I silently cheered reading the first topic she has to talk about is using different forms of transport while on holidays. Yay! I can relax and say "go and write." We even have props! So I pinned the note to the notice board and went to have a cuppa.

Then Izzy walked in from the mudroom holding a note. I forgot about Year 3 speeches. First topic: write a speech on a natural, built or heritage feature in the local community. Visuals encouraged. Now Isabel loves writing. But she also very much prefers to write from experience, so I knew this would mean a family day out. Pushing aside the long list of things I was excited about finding time to do over the weekend, I put on a smile and told her this would be so much fun! Where to go?

The Kiama Blowhole was her choice and soon everyone was excited. I'll admit I was a little afraid that the kids would find it boring after such a huge and exciting holiday, but they had a ball. Running around finding the best viewing points, discussing how people could have died due to unsafe practices and guessing when the next lot of water would shoot up. We looked at the lighthouse, walked all around and then discussed where to next.

As it turns out, I forgot snacks. Mum of 5 with not a single drink bottle or snack in the entire car. To make matters worse I also forgot to bring money or a card. Thankfully Craig had $17, but a cafe was out of the question with that amount, so off to find Woolies it was. A few u turns and a busy car park later and we had what we needed. In our search we came across a great park by the beach, that I had not been to before, so we stopped to eat and play.

As the kids finished up the unplanned lamingtons and ran off enthusiastically to play, I sat on the park bench and just watched. Daisy in awe of the water, dragging Craig toward the beach. The older kids laughing with everything in them, collapsing to the ground, only to get up and chase again. The completely contented smiles, as they jumped and swung and encouraged each other higher. Nowhere else existed for them in that moment. And I smiled knowing nowhere else existed for me either.

I'm all too aware that I'm great at the 'doing'. I can plan. Oh I can plan! I can organise. And I can see things through to the end, making sure nothing is missed. Doing is easy.

But I'm also all too aware that I find the 'being' hard.

Just sitting and enjoying the moment. Stopping. Really stopping and doing nothing. Not willing a moment to pass so I can get back to finishing something. Not sending my mind to the 5000 tasks I have waiting for me at any given time. This is such a huge challenge for me. But it's a challenge that I need to take up because my family won't remember the organising. They won't remember the planning or the washing, or the cleaning, or the dinner, or the endless amounts of vacuuming. My family will remember me looking into their eyes and smiling. My children will remember me watching first bike rides, jumping on the trampoline and sitting in my lap listening to stories. They will remember hugs and me holding their hand and listening, as they tell me about playground dramas. They will remember me just being with them. Just being. I hope.

Today I didn't finishing making curtains for the bathroom. The vacuuming didn't get done and at some point tonight I will get to cleaning the kitchen. But Lucy found three feathers. Jack rode his skateboard all around the park as I watched. Isabel experienced the Kiama Blowhole first hand. Henry climbed really high. Daisy visited her favourite place, the beach. And we all watched as a rainbow appeared. Sometimes gold is found where I least expect it. In a park, with unplanned lamingtons and learning how to just be.