12 ways to rescue a bad day!

Looking back to this morning, I should have known today would be a challenging day. A day that started with a toddler crying at 5:30 because she couldn't find Cinderella, followed by discovering no milk in the fridge, and entering a traffic jam within minutes of leaving the house. Challenging. But alas, I am not known for giving up! This day can be saved, even as I sit here wondering how to break it to Isabel, once she gets back from swimming, that I let Daisy play with her video camera Barbie, and she broke it.

So I will share with you my ideas that have worked well in the past, in the hope that something will turn this day around. And perhaps help someone else in the process.

1. A hot shower or bath. Ahhhh. And pjs.

2. Wine and take away. Once the kids are all in bed. It's almost like a date night! [For those of us who can't go out anymore. If you can - why aren't you!!!!!!!]

3. Shake it off! And dance! It's especially fun with kids because they can be really funny dancers. Or you could turn the music up and sing along- especially helpful when stuck in the kitchen or kids are 'disagreeing.'

4. Have a cup of tea. Or any hot drink really. Just take a moment to regroup and make a mental plan to move forward. 

5. Go and spend time outdoors. Watch the waves crash on the shore, river flow, or walk along beside trees in a quiet space.

6. Do something intentionally for someone else with no expectation of anything to be given in return. Impossible not to smile after deliberate kindness.

7. Hugs. Kids, partner, whoever! 

8. Get some perspective. How does this day fit with your whole life? Is it really that big a deal? Take a step back and look at everything that is going on around you.

9. Reframe the day. Go back over the day reframing the events. For example: this morning Daisy woke me up at 5:30 to find Cinderella. Thankfully I had a spare in the cupboard a few steps from my bed. I was able to help her calm down quickly. Fairy godmother at your service right here!

10. Give someone else a genuine compliment. Even if your day feels like a bit of a disaster, it will not feel completely lost if you have made someone else's day.

11. Write down, or mentally note, a few things you are thankful for when looking back over your day. For me: driving home a bit late meant that I experienced every minute of sunset! Looking out over the Illawarra from the top of Bulli Pass with an almost completely pink sky and purple-blue water beyond was amazing.

12. Go to bed. Sleep. Everything always looks better in the morning.

Have you tried any of these? What are your best ideas for rescuing a bad day?

to

Jen.x

School lunch egg muffins.

After scrolling through Pinterest, I decided to make up my own version of lunch muffins. This recipe makes 12. Enjoy!

Survival skills, parent-side.

Parenting is hard. Really HARD. Like how-can-anyone-do-this-and-survive-the-day hard. Oh the roller coaster of emotions!!!

I was going to write that today was a challenge. But then I tried to think back to a day when I didn't feel challenged by parenthood and I couldn't. I couldn't. Because the little tribe that I am half responsible for making, must have some kind of schedule to keep me on my toes. I'd really like a copy of that schedule.

As parents we talk about balance. We read a zillion articles, blogs and watch clips, all claiming to make parenthood better. Easier. And have a balanced life, meaning time with kids, partner, hobbies, me-time, whilst do a super-amazing job at work, AND getting enough sleep.

I've come to see balance a little differently.

All the things I wish we'd said. A quilt story.

The following post is written by an amazing friend. She is a fellow creative, teacher, mother, and all round wise person, whose advice I always value. She is also the first person to write for this blog other than me. I am very excited to be sharing this with you! It is part 'how-to', part explaining why she made the quilt, and part advice on where to find information on Dementia. Warning: you may need tissues. And how beautiful is the quilt?!! Love it.

I was adamant that I would NEVER start quilting, after some average attempts to make my kids a baby quilt each. Those quilts took years to make and a whole lot of work! Combine that with my difficulties with straight lines (cutting, sewing …) it all seemed like it was just not the thing for me.

But a friend, Kate, convinced me to go along with her to the Wollongong Modern Quilt Guild just to check it out.

To all the other mums. Because sometimes cheering is needed.

Hi, I am a mum.

I have three girls and two boys.

I live in a lovely suburb. People wanting to buy houses here have momentarily lost their minds and are spending ridiculous sums of money to buy them. I hate to say it, but it makes me a little happy about our choice. And no, we are not moving.

I currently have 15 unread books on my Kindle for iPad. I am desperate to read them, but so many other things come first.

I love sitting down with a cup of tea, chatting with a friend, reading a book, writing, sewing, or creating anything really!

I am organised and creative which causes issues for me at times. The creative wants to leave all the mess for later, while the organised part of me is screaming to leave whatever I am doing and tidy up. The longer I have 5 kids, the more likely I am to let my creative side win, even though I perhaps should become more organised.

Holiday outdoor & art activity: mini garden & still-life painting

I can't take credit for this happening today at all. I have had a major room-organising thing going on and have also been focused on what I need to do for Lucy's up-coming birthday. I hoped the kids would just play today, with Craig and I stopping to play every once in a while.

They had other plans.

Isabel decided she wanted to make a mini garden like those we had seen together on Pinterest. I had planned to give them supplies to make gorgeous little gardens in pots for this Christmas, hence the pinning on Pinterest. Anyway, Izzy came and asked for a plastic plate and it snow balled from there. It turned out to be a wonderful activity for all the kids aged 2 to 12, which can be a tricky thing to do. As an added bonus I got an extended period of time with no dobbing. Love it.

2015 Snowy Mountains holiday: Part 1

For our recent adventure away, we stayed in Talbingo, a small town reasonably close to the Selwyn Snowfields. The town is set on the edge of a dam and has gorgeous views, as well as being quiet, with short walks for families to go on. We walked to the dam and the little park for the kids to play, while we were there. 

Living at 'A' point 5 happily. And losing focus of point 'B'.

I arrived home from our trip away a few days ago. It seems like it is so far away even now, but I maintain clarity received via small revelations that have made a difference to my every day life.

I will share the wonder and fun of our trip in a future post, along with all the amazing photos. For now however I want, no need, to share something small. Something small that is part of a greater journey that has taken place over the past year.

I started writing for this blog almost a year ago, and it is no surprise that it's title is really the start of a journey that I am still very much on. Nothing is learnt all at once. Lessons tie into one another to reveal a greater, and deeper, understanding that is needed. What we learn is individual. My lessons may be familiar to others, or even revelations for others, but our journeys are our own. It has been a privilege to share mine.

5 Tips Friday: How to use the power of encouragement in everyday life.

Earlier in the week I wrote about the power of encouragement, as a gift to the lives of others. So what does this look like in real life? As part of my 5 Tips Friday series, today I am focusing on just that: encouragement in everyday life.

How to use the power of encouragement in everyday life:

1) Be genuine.

There is no need to look too hard or make something up. Plenty of opportunities present themselves every day. Just say all the kind things you think, rather than keeping them where no one can see.

2) Speak what you think and feel without worrying what the person will think of you. 

There are many posts on Facebook telling people to say what they think when they don't agree with someone e.g. 'Don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe and speak out'. It would be rare to see them encouraging people to say simple kind things in passing. Yet funnily enough I am much more likely to remember a few kind words directed specifically my way, than lengthy essays telling me what someone else wants to try to make me believe. It makes me wonder which exactly is more likely to change the world. When it comes down to it, a few simple words of encouragement are not going to make someone think badly of you: at worst, the person will be flattered.

3) Be specific. 

Yes tell a group they are great, but it is really easy for people to feel lost in a group or crowd. General feedback often gives the impression that the person giving feedback either doesn't really know who contributes what, or it is written off by individuals thinking that it was directed at someone else. I'm not saying don't do this at all, as it can be beneficial mentioning a team is effective, just make sure each person is encouraged individually too. Everyone wants to feel they are special in their own right, even if it is in contributing to a group.

4) Let encouragement become a habit. 

I work hard at this, and it does get easier. Most days I do it now without thinking.

5) Monitor and question your expectations.  

I find family are the hardest to encourage due to my expectations. My expectations tend to be high because I expect more from them, knowing what they are capable of. I am still working on this one! When you feel there is nothing to encourage anyone about, ask yourself if your expectations are realistic.

Notes about encouraging children:

With my children (home and school!) I choose to encourage effort rather than achievement. So many studies have shown this to be of greater benefit to children (just Google it!) Children praised or encouraged about attainment tend to believe ability is finite, whereas children encouraged and praised for effort believe ability is based on effort, and is therefore variable. When given tasks the child in the first instance often doesn't try hard if the task seems difficult, writing it off as something they are just not good at. The child in the second instance will continue to try, believing simply more effort is needed.

I use this with all that they do, from trying hard to brush their hair to working diligently with homework. Sometimes I see articles implying parents praise too much and I wonder if I am. But then I think about my interactions over the day, and I can safely say I am probably more critical than encouraging, so I don't think it's the case for me! The criticism is something I'm still working on! But seriously, how hard is it to put dirty uniforms in the wash basket!!!!!

The best bit about determining to be encouraging is that it is catching. When I see it in my children, I can't help but smile.

What tips do you have for encouraging children or those adults who you come into contact with in the everyday?

Jen.x

The power we have to make a difference. And how easy it is to forget in the everyday.

We all have the power to change lives every day. But it is all too easy to forget in the busyness and all of the lives we lead.

Many times we do not even see the result of this simple choice we make, or in the tiny amount of time it takes to make this difference, but it can make an amazing difference to someone else.

A few weeks ago I had been questioning my decision to write and publish. It happens occasionally. It's not like I was about to stop writing, but not pressing publish would be a relatively easy step. By the Thursday afternoon of that week, after driving home from working, coming home to many cuddles, but also overwhelming tiredness, I had pretty much decided to just leave it. Readers had been decreasing and I didn't really see the need to continue. No big deal really. My life is so full as it is.

I'm completely blessed, happy, and have more than enough to keep me busy. If I am not really making a difference to others, then what is the point?

But then about an hour after I had pretty much made my decision, as I picked up my iPad to check Instagram (needing some pretty inspiration!) I noticed a Facebook notification. I opened Facebook to discover a lovely encouraging message from someone I hadn't seen in years. I was completely overcome with gratitude, at the amazing encouragement as I read it. It spoke of how much she had enjoyed reading my blog posts. This, from someone I was unaware had even seen them.

In that moment I sighed and resolved to keep going a little longer. I decided to continue pressing publish, even if very few people were reached. Because I was reminded again that one person reached should be more than enough. It is easy to forget that in the disappointment of statistics that claim failure and the number, rather than names, of those following along.

The power of encouragement is huge.

The difference that reaching one person can make, is at times so big that it can change the course of history.

A sentence. A few words. A smile followed by a brief remark. All these things have the power to make a person's day, yes, but it is so much more than that.

The effect that these very simple words have can be even greater than we ever know. Not everyone lives their life out in the open for all to see. Some are hurting behind the biggest of smiles and the most fabulous hair and make up. Insecurity lives in many people. Some who choose to stand back and remain quiet, as well as some that live loudly laughing before everyone.

You can never judge a book by it's cover, we are told. But more so, you can never know what is going on in the back ground of the life of the person standing right in front of you. We can never know decisions that are being made, feelings that are being felt, and we can never truly know what is in another person's heart.

In this lies amazing power for all who choose to step out and decide they want to make a difference in this very simply way. As words leave your thoughts and move beyond your lips, encouragement can have a great impact on the way the person receiving them sees themselves and feels in that moment, as well as beyond.

Most people are overly critical of themselves. Sometimes this is a great thing because we all have things we need to change and work on. There are times however when we really need to have reflected back to us all the things that are great and lovely about ourselves.

Too often we hear stories of people who have suffered in silence or struggled alone. There are massive problems that exist in our world that seem insurmountable. And we can't fix everything.

But we do have the power to make sure there is a little hope, a little love, a little grace, a little happiness in there for the people we come into contact with.

It is an incredible gift to hold that power and choose to give it away.

We all think encouraging thoughts often. We admire someone's hair style, we smile and think to ourselves how well a mum deals with a tricky situation, we say to ourselves that a colleague is amazing at their job. We think it. We do. All the time.

The power however comes only when these thoughts are given a voice. Saying things out loud for everyone to hear, proclaiming them to be true before others, is a greater gift than many we try to wrap up and give at appropriate times throughout the year.

Simple words of encouragement have incredible power when spoken aloud. Use encouragement to make a difference in someone's life today: use it honestly, liberally and with gratitude. You may never know the difference it makes to someone else, but I can assure you it will.

Jen.x