All the years. And what my children will grow up knowing.

This afternoon Jack was looking up where he going to stay in Canberra next week. He was just sitting there, being all independent, turning on the computer and deciding to take a look.

Because he is almost twelve.

Twelve.

As in, this is the very last day in all eternity that he will be 11.

And so I'm sitting here wondering when that exactly happened.

When did all the years just go. Where did that little, follow-me-everywhere, never-stop-talking, never-stop-moving, gorgeous tiny boy, who had to investigate everything, go?

I look back and smile. He was such hard work as a little one. He rarely stopped talking, but when he did, it was because he was 'wondering' even at 2. He had endless energy, which basically left me exhausted and always on edge, because I could never predict what he would do next, especially once he had an all-too-willing-to-follow tribe, otherwise known as siblings. Branches were pulled off trees in order to add to every single bike/outside toy, to make cubby houses. Mud was the norm. Hours indoors were filled with every type of craft imaginable, endless stories, and toys never played with in the way the makers intended. He would correct adults, and always let other kids have the toy he was playing with if they tried to take it. Sometimes it would bug me, but even at two he would simply turn to me and explain that the other child obviously needed it more. He was so aware of the needs of others, even at a very young age, to the point that Isabel didn't even crawl until she was 12 1/2 months old. She had no need. Jack had already set her up a playground upon her waking, and I let him, because I was pregnant (again) and it kept him busy for long enough to allow me to be sick in peace.

Jack never slept. Well not in the way that other children slept. He was too busy finding out about the world. Trips to the library to find out about 'water monitors', listening to him lecture me about what I didn't do for the environment, and arguing over throwing out the recycling (potentially an awesome project I was assured), made living through the other reflux babies' first years oh so very hard. But then he learnt to read. And sleeping ceased to matter, because Minecraft or reading of a morning kept him silent, allowing us all to rest. Then, in what seemed like minutes later, he was riding his bike to get us bread and milk from the corner store and helping me keep Daisy happy, reading ALL the stories, so dinner could be prepared.

Yes, the growing up bit of parenting is pretty hard. Much harder than I first thought. I remember wishing that my child/ren would grow up faster, because all the days were endless, and bedtime seemed too far away. Sooooo far away, and never coming. And morning always came too soon. I remember wishing they were older so they would understand it was best to not ask mummy questions while she was trying to grow a baby, but was throwing up instead. I remember wanting them to be bigger, stronger, more able, so they could help me even a little, because I was just too tired to even keep an inventory of all the not-done things. I remember wishing they could read to each other, or to themselves.

And then I blinked.

Suddenly I have a just-about-twelve year old and a 'baby' (Daisy) who can sing 'twinkle twinkle' and make up stories to dob on her siblings.

It went by fast.

I'm not sad that Jack is getting older. I'm excited for all the years and experiences ahead. I love the way that children start to relate to parents differently as they really begin to understand more of the world around them. This birthday simply reminds me yet again about the reason behind the name of the blog. Living Future Memories.

Buying his card, wrapping his presents, planning his party, all reminds me that these moments we live together now will one day be the wonderful memories that I will love nothing more than to revisit and experience. But won't be able to, except in day dreams and journals, long ago set aside. I will remember though, and so will they.

Each moment is a gift. A memory for future-me to look back on and know I made the most of it.

Again I realise how important it is for me to stay present, pay attention and smile, while looking my children straight in the eye. Because they need to know I see them. I see them for who they really are right now. Not the 'them' of yesterday, or the not-enough compared to peers, just them. They need to know that I love and support them, will stick with them when it all gets too hard, and am more than ready to always hear the truth, with hugs left to spare.

I can say a lot of things.

I can write far too much.

But these are not the things that my children will grow up to know.

They instead will grow up knowing what I think of them, through all the actions they see me deliver, in the everyday moments that are so often overlooked. Through the chaos-battling journey, filled with messy and tricky bits, I hope they see in all I do that I believe they are important, strong, capable, loved, and oh so special.

All the years that have passed by with my children have been challenging, wonderful, overwhelming, amazing, and altogether tangled up into a complicated web I call my life. Almost twelve years has been an amazing blessing.

And I can't wait for the everything and all, that will be the moments I will experience in the years to come. The moments that will become the memories I will cherish for always.

Jen.x

Five tips Friday: Making time.

Time. My most valuable resource. I truly feel like I often lack the amount I need, but somehow I manage to find enough to get to what is most important.

So what are some of the ways I make time in my week to, well, survive having 5 kids?

These are just 5 ways I make time for the important stuff:

1) Decide what is most important, and never forget it. 

If I keep my mind fixed on what I consider to be most important in my life, it makes it hard to make decisions which mean that these important things don't happen.

2) Have clear boundaries with others. Communicate simply and stick to it.

This can be a tricky thing to do, but is great for all concerned. By all means, help and love people, but be direct with others about availability etc. I am clear about when I am available and what for. I put the needs of my children first. If I want Craig to do something for me, I ask him plainly, with no manipulation. And if he says no, I deal with it, without sulking. After all he is allowed his own boundaries too. As do others, which is something I readily accept. We all have our limits, and they are not all the same, because we are all different. I try to not use manipulation and refuse to do things out of duty with a resentful heart. I am much more effective and get more done when I am being genuine.

If I mean no, I say no. If my children bring me poorly scrawled work that they would like me to look over and correct, I tell them that I will be happy to when they write it in a way I can read it (that is to the standard that we both know is their best). If I am asked to do something I am not able to, I say so. If I am really excited or happy about something, I also talk about it. Clear and precise: fair to all.

3) Just get started. And get organised!

Procrastinating is such a big time waster, and it takes up so much head space. Don't know where to start because the job seems so overwhelming and big? Just get started and do something small. Success breeds success. When doing a big project the hardest part is the first part, so just jump in. I find after doing one little thing, I easily move onto another, then another, and then it's done! And it clears head space and time for more enjoyable things.

Organisation and getting rid of all the things we don't need is such an important part of making time for what is important. There are hundreds of articles out there on how to do this. Just remember: get started now. It only takes 5 minutes to make the first step!

4) Remember families are a team: everyone should be helping out.

We all work hard here. ALL. Craig is just as likely to be found cleaning as I am. We are most definitely a team, trying extremely hard to get the kids to be on our side and help too (a battle that is still trying to be won). We try hard to keep the kids accountable for what they are supposed to be doing, which can be a little tricky because there are so many of them. Being a teacher really helps here, because I know what children at each of their ages are actually capable of, so I make sure that they do what they can. If they are having real trouble, I will help, but not do it for them. If I help reorganise or clean their rooms, they will each be cleaning in a different area of the house, while I do it. Responsibility is learned over time, and there is still more than enough time when not helping out to play and play and play!

5) Use the Pinterest ideas you have pinned (or feel free to use mine).

I completely love Pinterest. I know some people find it to be a time waster, but not me. My boards on simplifying, rhythms of the day, minimalism, etc are so inspiring. I find if I'm having an off day, and feel like I do not have enough time or energy to get anything done, 5 minutes looking at these blog posts and pictures I have pinned to these boards really gives me the boost I need. I remember what my goals are, what's important to me, and I am reminded of some of the great ideas I've had to get it all done. If the kid's rooms need a revamp or I need the kids to be motivated, they will sit down and look at my "Just gorgeous kid's spaces" board and soon enough we are all the same track.

So these are just 5 ways I make time in my life for important things. What are 5 of yours?

Jen.x

5 Tips Friday: Washing.

One question I am asked all the time is "how do you do it?" Now occasionally it is intended as flattery, but most of the time it is a mum genuinely looking for ways to help her survive the chaos. I have eagerly asked this, and so many other questions, to mums-of-many in the past, which has helped me in countless ways. Although their exact methods or ideas may not work for my family, their ideas often lead to me working out ways that do make things more manageable for my family.

So to help out other mums who are interested, I am starting "5 tips Friday" (#5tipsfriday Instagram hashtag) written, you guessed it, every Friday. With Facebook and now Instagram selective in the way they share posts, at least all of you can know by Friday night, you can check out the blog and the tips will be there even if you don't see the notification.

I have started with washing because wow, it's a real game changer when a good system is in place. Now I know dad's do washing too, including Craig. But in our home I am the keeper of the rhythms, decider of the everyday life systems and the person that everyone comes to if something is not washed. And if uniforms are not washed I am generally the one dealing with meltdowns from a five year old who can't possible wear his spare pair of pants, because they are track pants, and that is so NOT cool. In the same way, the kids never complain to me when the grass is too long to play in, because Craig has the joy of finding 75 metal toy cars with his shins as he attempts to tame the wild mini-field that others may call our back yard.

Washing: 5 Tips

1) Have a great (but not complicated) system for dirty clothes storage. 

We have a simple large cane basket in the bathroom, and two metal-framed fabric-insert IKEA baskets in the laundry (one for lights and one for darks). I might ask the kids to bring the cane basket to the laundry to help, or ask someone to sort the washing. Sorting is actually a great skill for Mathematics and decision making by the way, so educational ;) Usually it's a job I do though. I try to keep EVERYONE accountable for their own dirty clothes if they are home, even though it would often be easier to pick it up myself. I will call people to put dirty washing in the wash basket, and wait for them to do it. Even Daisy. Responsibility isn't just something that is developed over night. And I am not a slave.

2) Have a washing plan. 

In my mental washing plan I always want all uniforms washed by Sunday night. Even if they are hanging on airers or in the dryer Sunday night, I KNOW everyone is set for the week. We all have enough clothes, pjs, uniforms etc to last a week, so knowing that is taken care of is a big help. In this way, if it rains, I get sick, or there is some disaster, everyone at the very least has enough clothing to last until the week end. Ideally I would wash 3 loads everyday if evenly spaced, but this doesn't happen due to work commitments and weather. I wash sheets weekly, and often do them all at once. Sometimes, when it has been a rainy week and sheets are due, I will wash many loads Friday night/Saturday morning, and hang it all up in the sun as the kids play, and then create a washing mountain on my lounge. It makes me laugh, and that night I put on a good movie and fold it all. I also always wash loads of clothes that dry well in the dryer last, just in case I don't get to hanging them out.

3) Make ironing special. In other words, do it so rarely that you think of it in lovely terms, just like I do when I look back on living in my old house (my journals tell another story).

I have never really ironed. Craig and I have this rule: if you complain about the way the other does something, the job is yours forever. My wonderful ex-Air Force husband lasted about 2 minutes watching me iron before he claimed ironing permanently. In his words: "You are not even ironing! You are just warming up the shirt!" I'm soooooo disappointed. He ironed everything, even track pants and baby clothes until we had Lucy. Lucy was a game changer. Wow, crying without ceasing! So he stopped ironing jeans, track pants and some other things. Then we had Henry. Oh Henry, our third baby with reflux (seriously wouldn't have survived without our easy baby- Isabel). And we had to move. Ironing stopped altogether. Now post-baby-time, I iron fabric (Craig just doesn't watch) and Craig irons shirts and some of the girls dresses.

4) Fold clothes straight off the clothes line or lay items flat.

This helps with making ironing unnecessary, but also means I spend time outside almost every day. A monotonous task done in the sunshine is great for clearing my head, and gives me a little vitamin D in the process. I make my children come outside while I hang washing or take it in too, and have done since they were babies. This guarantees outside play for them, which always leads to better sleep (better for them individually, not necessarily better than other children). Another big bonus is that items are much easier to sort and then put away if they are already folded. If using a dryer, make the commitment to fold straight after coming out of the dryer, or at least lay clothing flat. Again this helps with the no-ironing. And washing is just cosier to fold when it is warm.

5) Get everyone involved as early as possible.

Children will never get to an age when they think "you know, I really want to help out, stop playing, and do my share of the work," but they are part of the family. All taking part in something, even the boring things, helps connect a family. Creating that language of "we" is so important, because everyone wants to belong, and if children and teens don't feel they belong at home, they will find somewhere else. We do the washing and put it away. We all contribute. We are all important to the process and the family. My four oldest put their own clothes away and sometimes help with folding or sorting socks (awesome job for preschoolers and kindergarten children, for needed numeracy skills.) It is much harder than doing it myself, but pays off as they get older. Just ask me about the 4 hours of defiance, scattered with tantrums, I endured last weekend. PS, when Mr 5 finally relented it only took him 10 minutes.

Now there are about 100 more tips that I could add. But I won't. Because Five and Friday start with the same letter and I like that. Probably a teacher thing. More ideas might come up another Friday.

How about you share your washing tips? The comments below are open for all to use, or comment via Facebook or Instagram. Can anyone think of five more?

Jen.x

Other washing related posts:

It's all about the washing. Dreaming of a dryer and the before-them me.

And for a good washing mountain photo:
Goodbye to making it through the day.

Learning to write. Helping children to write at home.

As with anything to do with children and learning, fun makes it easier. Ask a child to read a book they are interested in, opposed to a book they have to read, and you will hear and see the difference. With children struggling, this can be even more pronounced. Who wants to feel like everything is too hard, AND dislike the task at hand? Nope, certainly not me. And children are no different.

There are hundreds of fun activities online about learning sounds, and even writing words, today I'm focusing on activities to do at home in regard to beginning to write whole sentences and encourage writing overall. Below are some simple activities to do with kindergarten children, and beyond. Last I have included a list of things parents can do to encourage writing in general.

Activity 1

A first activity, which many schools require as homework, is using 'sight words' cards to make sentences, then writing these sentences down. This is a great first step. Kids are usually happy to do this, especially if the words are laminated (can't help myself!) and the words are special and no one else is allowed to touch them. Not even once. And they are kept in some super awesome location/box/whatever. Treat these words like they are as precious as gold, super-seriously (after all, they are FROM THE TEACHER!!!!) and the family will follow. It doesn't hurt if someone gets into 'trouble' for touching them. Example:

"Oh Daisy, you can't touch those! They are Henry's really important words for school. I know you would LOVE to have a turn, but you just can't. You have to be REALLY grown up to have special words like these. We will just have to go and play with something else instead, while Henry does very grown up school things with them."

Works a treat. Added benefit being that when Daisy has her first set of words laminated, she will sooooo much enjoy getting to show her SPECIAL words off to her siblings telling them that they are certainly not allowed to touch them. The older kids have always been on board with this. Isabel:

"Henry, they are great words. No, you're right I'm not allowed to have them anymore, because I'm in year 4 now. Only people in Kinder and Year 1 get to have them." Cue sad, disappointed face.

Encourage silly sentences if that helps. Many kinder children love silly! Other children will be happy with themselves just making a sentence on their own. Writing and being understood can be very exciting for children.

Activity 2

This is where Henry is at right now. He is a getting a bit bored with the above activity. This is the tricky bit of learning to write: learning to write what is in their head at a slower pace than they would like. It can be very frustrating for them, especially if the child likes to do things 'right' and is not a big fan of taking a risk. Being faced with a blank page can really be too much. Where do they start?

For all my children after Jack (sorry Jack, you could already write in Kinder and I was pregnant with Henry) I have used a simple, readily available item to help me.

A scrap book. It is easily picked up when I'm at the grocery store. The thicker the pages the better.

To make it super special, I covered it with different things depending on the child. For Isabel it was with a painting she did, Lucy paint stamps and Henry 'Planes' wrapping paper.

The next part is the key to success. Grab a black felt tip pen and a standard plastic ruler. Starting from the bottom, trace along either side of the ruler until you have the preferred number of lines. Depending on the child, start with one, two or three. Less is better than more at the start. Success breeds success. A big space for a drawing and only a few large spaced lines (that can be altered for the child's needs) is great.

Introduce the special book without fanfare at homework time, explaining simply that the child is finally grown up enough to have a special writing book, where they can write stories of their own.

The big thing is to draw first. Not last. Many kinder children like drawing, so there is automatic success AND they have something to write about on the page in front of them. It is also easier to write on a page that isn't completely blank. For little ones, like Henry, who prefer to follow directives, I will give him something to draw, for example a cat. If he says he can't draw that (because oh no, it might not be perfect) I will draw a simple one beside him, one step at a time. Kids love drawing something 'properly.' The child could also follow a simple 'how to draw' book.

Ask the child to tell you something about their drawing, and then ask them to write it down. Have sight words spread out in front of them, so they can be used to create a simple sentence about their picture, perhaps using only a few unknown words. They may need a page with all the letters of the alphabet on it to refer to when thinking about what sounds are found in the unknown word. Henry doesn't really need either now, but I know some children do require these visuals. Remember it is supposed to be fun and about writing something, no matter what they need to do it.

At first the child may only write down one or two sounds from the unknown word, which is fine! As they become more confident with writing at school, their knowledge will come through their writing at home. This is merely good practice and a chance to learn to enjoy writing, outside of school. Writing needs to be seen as something that is needed beyond the walls of the school room.

Activity 3

Once a child becomes more confident with writing, move the lines in the scrap book closer together and encourage writing of all kinds. Journaling is great. Reading back over their writing later together can really add to the importance of writing. Creative writing about their dreams and hopes can also be great. As can recording data from experiments or rules for games in the back yard. Really, anything that they WANT to write about should be encouraged. It can often help them to process their own thoughts, and can give you insight.

If a child likes to use computers, open up a word processing program and let them go for it. They can learn to add photos and other pictures to their work. Children who love art may find writing then creating an art project to accompany their writing fun. Often parents need to stand out of the way and saying 'yes' to messy exciting things the child wants to do.

When to do writing tasks

Provide a time for writing that is a nothing time. A time when nothing fun is going on, play has been had, and everyone else is doing seemingly boring tasks. It's also great if it's a time when parents are busy (so can't hover), but not too busy to wander over calmly if the kindergarten child is getting frustrated. Dinner cooking time, or cleaning up after dinner time, works well.

All children are different, so if the time isn't working, pick another one. Don't stop play and demand writing. It just won't work. For us, writing time is during homework time. One benefit of many kids is you just need one to start. I can announce it's time to do anything, and generally if one believes, the others follow.

Other things parents can do to encourage writing

*Ask the child to add items to a shopping list. Ask like it's no big deal.

*Allow the child to see the grown ups write with purpose. They need to feel the NEED to write. Why bother learning something that serves no purpose and is only for school. It's tempting to do all the work for work, making schedules, writing lists, etc once children are in bed. Try to do some in front the child.

*Let the child see writing can be fun. Write a story together. Parent write a few lines, the child writes a few lines. Or at the very beginning, child talks and parent writes. They will start to understand the importance of words and some children will pick up spelling, grammar etc from simple activities like this. Again, writing doesn't have to be serious: have fun with it and make it silly.

*Ask the child questions about their writing. Be interested. Genuinely. Without all the over the top praise if the writing isn't worthy. Compliment effort, not the finished product.

*Ask the child to read their writing to you, and even better to siblings. Quite often the child will want to make changes or add words. This is completely normal.

*Read. A lot. It will give them ideas to write about and provide opportunities to talk about writers. Discuss how people come up with ideas, what is important to think about when writing, how funny it would be if there were no full stops etc.

*Make a writing box and provide endless amounts of paper, lined and unlined.

*With an older child, a communication book between parents and child can be great. It serves many more purposes than learning to write too.

Just as parents encourage and value the development of verbal language in the early years, writing is yet another form of communication for us to encourage and get excited about. Enjoy the journey and take photos. Before you know it they will be a proficient writer and you will hardly remember all the steps along the way.

Jen.x

Costco. Is it REALLY worth it? What I buy.

Costco. I was introduced to the phenomenon by my overly enthusiastic sister. Ever noticed how people who go to Costco are extremely enthusiastic about it, to the point of being tempted to say "calm down now," because really how great can it be? I mean really, it's a store. A shop. For groceries.

Then I went.

Okay, so now I get it.

Costco provides some of our healthy snack options and meal/snack ingredients, made in countries that have food regulations, at a great saving of both time and money. For me it's not only all about the savings. But mind you there are great savings to be had.

Overall we spend a lot on food. For example at the moment we spend more than $10 a day on fruit and $7 every two days on yogurt, and these are minor items. I know much has been said on the topic of expense involved in providing healthy food. I personally find it very expensive. It would be cheaper to provide mass produced bags of chips or a packet of biscuits, compared with the price of fruit. There are lots of ways to make healthy options cheaper, but so far all the ones I've found require time. Time I simply don't have during the school term. I'm constantly battling time vs money to come up with reasonably priced healthy options. Pinterest is certainly my friendly helper in this regard, but so is Costco. Making some of our ingredients cheaper, really does help on the whole.

The prices are great. Mostly. There are some amazing specials, BUT some things are almost the same price as they would be at the local grocery store when on special, so would not really be worth the trip if only in search of savings. You could do your research before going, but for me, I buy and then my lovely sister compares later. It has never cost me more for any item (adjusted for quantity,) but some items have worked out to be the same price, especially if the item was on a great special at the local store. Make sure you are considering quantities when looking at prices. For example, it may seem a lot to pay $9.89 for Craisins. BUT when you consider that the bag is 1.36kg, and Craisins cost $4.46 for 170g at Coles, the savings are pretty clear.

Just make sure when purchasing that you only buy what you will actually use before the used by date. This isn't something I really have to worry about, but with fewer family members I would be taking this into consideration.

How much do I save?

When I go to Costco I do a massive shop. Almost every time I go (once a term during the holidays) I spend $1000, and generally save $500 off regular prices. And that is just off the items that there is an easy to find comparison item. Many items, such as organic cotton pj's, are from brands not sold in Australia (rather USA). This total saving doesn't take into account this type of saving, which can be substantial. It also doesn't include savings made on items I hadn't bothered to find alternate prices on, such as swimming goggles or underwear or a large packet of Sharpies.

My other big reasons to shop at Costco

One benefit of doing the massive shop (with great trolleys that can handle it!) is that we have all the items purchased that we will need throughout the term. Less trips to the shops during the week, and if we do go, we are only buying perishables such as milk, dairy items, meat, bread, fruit and veg. I can grab some of these things at the local corner store, green grocers, or butchers, supporting small local businesses. If doing a regular shop, I just don't do this. It is also a great deal more manageable and time efficient. No looking through or walking down isles every few days. I didn't realise what a blessing this was until part way through the previous term. I didn't do a Costco shop before there start of Term One and it really affected the running of our household. I'll never forget the look on Jack's face, coming upstairs from our storage room, exclaiming that we had no toilet paper on the Costco shelf. He was in shock. As was I. It would take several annoying trips with a regular trolley to fill my Costco shelf ready for the term, eating away at my holiday time with the kids.

I am 5 foot 1. It's not something that really bothers me as I've always liked being short. But handling a very over-full trolley and reaching for items on high shelves can be tricky. I can fill a trolley with items we need on any given day of the week. I buy 6 or 7 kilograms of bananas or apples at a time, along with three 3L containers of milk, and all the other fresh produce needed, multiple times a week. There are always looks of shock from all surrounding me when I make my way through the checkout. Always. And people can't help but ask, so grocery shopping is a very social experience. Having a Costco stock shelf to pull from on a needs basis is great because my trolley stays at least slightly manageable for me to manoeuvre around the shops and car park. And I can still see over the top. Costco trolleys are much more manageable, although larger, and somehow much easier to use.

So why else do I buy at Costco when there are other 'cheap' stores closer?

* Many of the products are from reputable brands, produced in countries that have food regulations. The products are what I would choose to buy, given all the choices.

* I have tried the local 'cheap' grocery store and don't like the products. The difference I found was that at the cheap store the products were a reduced quality, and had many additives that I try to avoid, in the items I choose to purchase.

* The reason Costco is cheap, isn't because of cheap products, but rather a guaranteed lower mark up. No item has a mark up greater than 14%.

* I really like many of the products Costco stocks, that are unavailable elsewhere. Peanut butter, dried onion flakes, Californian granulated garlic, and oh my, the pretzels! I could go on....

* They treat their staff well and offer advancement programs. I worked in retail from the time I was 15, until I worked as a teacher. Actually, I even worked in retail during the Christmas holidays to help out the jeweller I once worked for, until I had 3 children. I had great bosses, but know of many others who didn't, including my husband. It makes a difference. And I will support companies that encourage their workers and treat them well. I also give written positive feed back on helpful staff, but that is a story for another time.

* I can do many types of shopping at once, in a short space of time. I buy goggles for the kids (three children have weekly swimming lessons year round), organic cotton pjs for my children with sensitive skin, and even a new fry pan not so long ago. The deep walled fry pan is the best by the way and big enough to double batches for my big family!

* I have found many more additive free items. This makes a difference to my sanity. Additives really affect a couple of my children. I try to buy products that contain as few ingredients as possible, and have ingredients that I can read and know what they are. The closer to whole food the better, while accepting sometimes I have to have convenience foods.

* Buying at Costco has been part of my journey to simplify.

* Time. I save time in so many ways with this big shop. I don't need to look through weekly specials in catalogues, and I stock up all at once. When I go shopping through the week for perishables I just quickly pick up and buy. Much faster. Making the space for our Costco shelf has been life changing.

What do I buy regularly? 

Some of these I have only bought once because the original is still in use:

Sandwich/snack bags
Yogurt (Jaalna 2kg)
Rice
Smooze ice-blocks
Dried onion flakes (Kirkland brand, no preservatives)
Californian granulated garlic (Kirkland brand, no preservatives)
Fine sea salt (Kirkland)
Pretzels (the massive barrel, now I can't eat any other kind!)
Carmen's bars (box with 48 half size, nut free, two types of muesli bars)
Annie's fruit straps
Garbage bags (don't get Jack started about this one. Quality difference.)
Peanut butter (Skippy)
Tissues (Kleenex, 8 large boxes)
Paper towels (Bamboo Viva)
Craisins and other dried fruit (biggest range preservative free, even dried blueberries)
Nuts: almonds, cashews and pistachios (Kirkland brand- awesome prices and sizes!!!!)
Dishwasher tablets
Speedo swimming goggles for the kids (a three pack)
Calvin Klein underwear (sorry if too much information!)
Crackers (Mary's gone crackers brand made completely from seeds are awesome)
Chia seeds
Levis jeans
Quinoa (but I check the price- sometimes this isn't cheap)
Semi sweet choc chips (only two ingredients and I couldn't find 'semi' sweet anywhere else. They are also sustainably sourced, fair trade.)
Sharpies (I have only bought this once, but awesome)
Kids band-aids (Band Aid brand character ones)
Hand wash refills
Queen organic vanilla bean paste (nothing is better than this for cooking!)
Organic coconut oil
Children's books (sometimes a great special, but check the prices)
Frozen veggies
Coconut flour
Whole grain wraps
Socks
Tasty cheese slices (we all love these)
Tins of sliced pineapple (perfect size to add to afternoon tea for my children, when I haven't had time to buy fruit)
Christmas gifts for children (for example for Henry, a 'Planes' pack that had the big plane and 5 die cast figures, unavailable elsewhere, so very cheap)
Weet bix (only a $1.30 saving per box, but we go through boxes so fast it is great to have many in reserve)
Swiss Miss hot chocolate (I know it is terrible for me, but so yummy as an occasional treat!)

Some of these items are ridiculously cheap when considering the cost per item at a regular grocery store.

Items I would like to try or would buy in the future

Organic coconut sugar
Hershey's cocoa
Pure maple syrup (I don't need any right now, but the price is amazing so will buy at Costco in the future.)
If I ever need to replace my kettle I will buy it at Costco. My exact kettle is $30 cheaper there.

So yes, I think that a trip to Costco, which is an hour away from where I live, is completely worth it. And I'll be there with my sister tomorrow. Which is my final reason for going there. My sister and I have such a great time. I laugh so much with her, looking at some of the ridiculous products and sizes available. Always bring a friend along.

Want to see what it is like? My Costco photo gallery is here.

Jen.x

Costco trip photo gallery.

Photos from my last Costco trip.

Some of the items I bought were one-offs for Christmas, like the books, toys and muesli bars (for Santa sacks). The items bought were shopping for both my sister's family and mine. Photos are not all of items I would recommend, but show how varied the range of items available is. For more information about why I shop at Costco, what I buy there, and if it is really worth it, read about it here.

If there is something you are interested in seeing, comment. I will be there tomorrow.

Jen.x

Simplifying. Minimising. And not forgetting the most important thing.

Since Daisy was about 6 months old I have been on a mission to simplify. To minimise. To have what we need, rather than all the wants that have a tendency to cause clutter.

It probably began even earlier in a more slow and steady way, when we moved into this house four years ago. But adding a fifth child really encouraged me to look for more and more ways to simplify and streamline.

It has certainly been an interesting journey.

There has been so much given away, thrown out, or re-purposed into something functional for our family. Hard work doesn't even begin to touch the strength of words needed to describe the journey. I have been relentless. I have often missed sleep. Okay, in all honesty, I rarely get the amount of sleep I need and Craig thinks I lack the ability to relax. This need for constant activity has certainly fuelled my search for a way to do the everyday better, in the hope of having more time to just be with my lovely family. Minus the stress.

In many ways I have achieved what I set out to for my family. Organising and simplifying certain areas has made for a more smooth running household. The study overhaul has been fantastic. It is so very used in a house hold of such creatives and many of us involved in schooling. The laundry renovation has quite literally changed the way I think about washing. I would often dread it and hated being in the room, and now it is almost never messy and I can't help but smile every time I reach to open my bright red cupboard, that only holds exactly the things we use (and no more.) The mud room makes all the school stuff manageable, and with four at school, findable. The bedrooms, playrooms and living areas are now easier to clean up, and I even know exactly where everything is in our storage room. There is still much to be done, but I do look back gratefully, happy that simplifying is a journey we have been on.

But a little while ago I realised that in all the minimising and simplifying there was something that was somewhat lost and forgotten in our home.

Us.

In trying to create space, free up counters, see skirting boards and generally stop being a slave to all the stuff, I realised that I lost a little bit of what actually made our home feel like us. I lost a little of what made it feel like home to me.

Now, I know that it's the people that make the home, not the things. And that is very true. But there is also that moment when I walk into some houses that instantly gives me that it's-so-them-! feeling, and I really love it. It has nothing to do with cleanliness or organisation or the colour palette they have chosen.

They feel comfortable in the space.

And it fits their life perfectly.

That's just it, isn't it? A home should be there to serve the needs of the family and people in it, not the other way around. That's what I've discovered I have really been searching for in my journey towards simplicity: a home that is exactly what we need for us to be a family, without the excess that creates wasted time.

I realise now that this journey is not only about removing and making 'less.' Part of the journey is about making sure that our home fits our lifestyle and the things we love to do and the comfort that makes home feel like home. And what's more I need to recognise that I have this wonderful place and be grateful for it.

When considering my real family, not the imaginary one it would be more convenient to have, trying to pare back all-the-things, leaving no room for forgetting, tired, late, messy hobbies, fun and crazy, really isn't the right thing for me to do. We need room for error. We need to have reserves. We need 6 laundry baskets and a Costco shelf that is full at the start of a term, because our life just doesn't run smoothly without them. And I need a sewing table sitting right in the middle of our main living area. Because I just do. It makes for not only beautiful handmade items, but is also for sharing a passion with my little ones, while enabling me to stay right there with them as they play.

And that it the way we really live.

Messily together, loud-too-often, huge completely scratched dining table covered in pencils, dishes piled in the sink, haphazard tents constructed in the bedrooms, books scattered over the coffee table, random toys in the hall, a sometimes huge clean washing pile, and a notice board covered with 'important' things.

That is how my beautiful family really lives. And as I look at the joy and contentedness in their faces, I realise that although I still have a little way to go on the journey of simplifying, they are completely happy right where we are now.

Clearing the clutter and remembering to love people and use things (not the other way around), will continue to be an important focus. We just won't lose focus of who we actually are, and what our life is really like in the process.

I may not perfectly implement the task of minimising, and my children may not grow to completely value simplicity.

But they will clearly remember that people come first. And that things are simply tools for living a happy, fun, meaningful, sometimes slightly wild-and-crazy, life.

Time to look at the gorgeous, real, seriously messy-and-all-about-the-fun family I have. Time to smile and think about real solutions that are all about life as it really is.

And above all, time for me to be grateful for the amazing life I lead, and house I am beyond blessed to call that very special word: home.

Jen.x

How I learnt to be a better parent in one moment. Looking back at this to help now.

Sometimes I need to look back to move forward.

Who remembers when I wrote about how I learnt to be a better parent in one moment?

Well, it's been a while since I've written in that particular book. I reorganised a few things and made the mistake of placing something on top of it. So it stayed closed.

Today I decided to take it back out again.

After writing down what I think a happy home looks like yesterday, it was time to do something really easy: ask myself the question-

Do we have what we have decided is our version of a happy home?

And furthermore, what areas are we missing the mark, or aiming for something that hasn't even been listed as important?

These are tricky questions. For some things listed, the answers are pretty obvious. One perfect example, was one of Craig's responses: "a clean and tidy home."

Oh.

Deep down I know this about him. It's no surprise that a guy who has been in the Air Force values organisation and cleanliness. But in the day to day it's easy to push it aside, because I can live with things a little more lived in. It was an easy fix really, asking the kids to help out with cleaning today. I didn't get anything super fun done with the kids or and sewing done this morning, but the house does look lovely and Craig was smiling when he returned home. It's also surprising the fun the kids had in between 'helping' moments. Jack and Daisy were particularly sweet. So yes, some responses were easy to assess and think of changes that needed to be made.

Other things on my page, about my home in particular, were things that I didn't realise were important to me, but plans can be made in the future, and just knowing that, is enough for now.

There were however a few left over items written down that I was a little stuck on, or perhaps a better way of putting it is that I didn't really trust my own judgement to assess them properly. I wanted something more concrete. And that's when I remembered the book.

Re-reading that post again made me teary. Mainly because lately I haven't been the mum I was when I wrote it. I have been expecting too much and paying little attention to what they are contributing and trying hard with, but rather finding fault. Too many sighs of impatience, too many hurry-up-s.

I needed to go back to remembering that big truth:

They hear what I think.

Ouch.

Sometimes the truth is necessary. And it hurts. My viewpoint was a problem again, and I certainly knew it.

So the book is back out, and I am writing. Not only that, I am taking photos when I notice them being particularly kind, thoughtful, helping etc. All the things I wrote I wanted for my children and family. In a few days I will go back and have another look at everything I've written about what believe a picture of a happy home is, and compare.

If I have learnt nothing more from this process so far, it's that honesty is important. As I read the pages of my bright, sunny yellow book, filled with positive comments about my children, I realise how important it is to realise what is. What really is. Not just what I think it is, after briefly glossing over the events of the day. It is far too easy to feel my children are not helping, when I zone in on times in the day when they didn't do what they were asked. And when it's what I believe, it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy.

Time to focus on the truth. What really is. And make changes based on real needs. Not imagined ones.

As I wrote all those months ago:

There will continue to be moments that change me. I welcome the challenge, because I know from experience the rewards can be worth it.

They hear what I think.

Let what I think be the best of them.

Jen.x